Benoit Assou-Ekotto for Tottenham Hotspur (v Everton), 11 January 2012

We're delighted to welcome lovely fella, stand-up comedian and Spurs fan Carl Jones to Cheer Up Alan Shearer. With Spurs second in the table, here's Carl's first guest post about whether his side can actually win the league...

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It’s mid-January. Tottenham Hotspur sit three points adrift of leaders Manchester City and level on points with Manchester United. The media is abuzz with title talk and Ladbrokes have cut the odds to as short as 6/1. It’s a situation that seemed entirely unthinkable following heavy defeats to United and City in our opening two games.

The fixture list didn’t look too kind when it was released last summer. An opening home game against Everton certainly looked like the best opportunity to get off the mark in August. The riots in London deemed the game unsafe to go ahead and Tottenham finished the month bottom of the Premier League. It looked like it could be a long season.

Harry Redknapp added dynamism to the midfield in Scott Parker and talismanic presence up front with Emmanuel Adebayor and since then, Tottenham have barely stuttered.

With the exception of a tepid display against Stoke, Tottenham have brushed aside Norwich, West Brom, Fulham, Blackburn, Wigan and Wolves away from home and beat Liverpool and Arsenal at home. December’s draw with Chelsea extends an unbeaten home record against their London rivals to six seasons at a ground their fans used to call ‘Three Points Lane’.

On Wednesday night we beat Everton to claim three points that have long been won in the minds of every Tottenham fan. We’ve looked at the table for months thinking “If we can beat Everton…”, adding the three points to our tally in our heads. Now that we have, we actually look like we’re in with a shot at the title. Just don’t tell anyone I said that. I’d hate to be the one that jinxed it.

As a Tottenham fan since the mid-Nineties, I’ve seen some truly horrendous lows. A 7-1 defeat at St James’ Park, two points from eight games a few seasons ago, a wretched decade and a half of results against the artists formerly known as ‘the big four’ and signing Grzegorz Rasiak on transfer deadline day. I even took my fiancée for a romantic evening in Grimsby for her first ever Tottenham match in 2005. We lost 1-0.

There have been a few highs, of course. I’ve been lucky enough to witness Gareth Bale’s stunning hat-trick in the San Siro, Peter Crouch’s Champions League qualifying goal at the City of Eastlands Etihad Stadium and I nearly broke my foot celebrating Allan Nielsen’s header in the 1999 Worthington Cup Final in a pub I wasn’t old enough to be in.

Massive credit must go to Harry Redknapp for bringing the good times back to White Hart Lane. Aside from rebuilding relegation fodder and turning them into Champions League quarter finalists, he’s now taken them one step further. Tough decisions were made in the summer, trimming a bulging squad by shipping out Woodgate, Crouch, Palacios, Bentley, Hutton and Jenas. The decision to replace Gomes with Friedel would have been a difficult one but has proved to be masterstroke.

Emerging talent such as Kyle Walker and Jake Livermore have revitalised the side, improving players like Younes Kaboul have added depth and exciting youngsters gaining valuable playing time elsewhere such as Townsend, Caulker and Naughton plus several others breaking through in the Europa League suggest the future is bright. The team spirit is better than ever with the reaction to Assou-Ekotto’s screamer last night testament to that.

The steely resolve to keep Luka Modric should also be admired. There might have been a better pay packet waiting for him in West London but the benefit of hindsight would suggest he’s just as likely to win major honours wearing white as he would have been in blue this season.

Redknapp has been adamant that he won’t spend big during the transfer window and will only bring in players who can add quality. With the likes of Pienaar, Kranjcar, Dos Santos and Pavlyuchenko kicking their heels on the bench, Huddlestone to come back from injury and Dawson returning to captain the side last night in the absence of Ledley King and William Gallas, it’s hard to identify positions that require strengthening.

Chris Samba, Loic Remy, Junior Hoilett and even Rio Ferdinand have all been touted as possible signings but Redknapp continues to play his cards close to his chest. It’s hard to imagine a transfer deadline day passing without him giving an interview out of the window of a stationary BMW though.

Whether we strengthen or not, psychologically, these three points against Everton are our most important of the season, and not just because they’ve moved us within touching distance of the top of the league. The gap we now hold over our faltering rivals for automatic qualification to the Champions League could prove crucial.

Liverpool are bereft of their best player for weeks. Chelsea are in a transitional period with an ageing backbone and might well settle for continued progress in the Champions League and qualification for next season as priorities now. Arsenal are awaiting positive news in the loan market with Gilles Grimandi and Christopher Wreh hoping to join Thierry Henry on 6-week loan deals.

Above us, Manchester City’s wobble has shown a chink in the armour and United have continued to grind results out in between spectacular defeats like the ones against Blackburn and City themselves. Games against both Manchester sides in the coming weeks will truly test our ability to win the title.

There’s unlikely to be a better chance to truly establish ourselves as a Champions League team and attract the world’s best players to the Lane. Once the Premier League’s joke club, we now play some of the most attractive football in the country and have a squad of players who genuinely look ready to push for the title.

With the England job available soon, Adebayor only on loan until the end of the season, some of the world’s top clubs coveting our very best players and Friedel defying the natural ageing process, now is the time to fulfil our potential or risk the break-up of our most talented side for decades.

Can Tottenham actually win the title? Yes. Just don’t tell anyone I told you so.

Zinedine Zindane for France (vs Brazil), 12 July 1998

I spent much of the Christmas period in France, and I was delighted to see that there is plenty of TV coverage of the English Premier League. Not only was I able to watch more a less the full round of fixtures on Boxing Day, but also the rescheduled Arsenal v Wolves game the following day. Coverage was pretty good too. Canal+ has this thing they call a “multiplex”, where they show you live coverage from a game, and then if something starts to happen elsewhere, they flick their coverage to one of the other games. On Boxing Day, with a pretty full fixture list all kicking off at the same time, this worked pretty well.

I suppose it’s a little annoying when they flick games just as you’re getting your bearings or if you are interested in one game in particular, but given that we spend our time in England on days like this watching a TV programme that consists entirely of Jeff Stelling flicking between coverage of a bunch of blokes watching the games, whilst we get no live footage of matches at all, it’s a relatively good way to absorb the afternoon’s drama.

Canal+’s studio coverage is actually fronted by an Englishman; he speaks impeccable French, of course, but his accent is clearly English and he also – unusually for French TV – pronounces all of the English club names correctly and could actually tell you what Wigan or Norwich are like. Darren Tulett has apparently been working in the media in France since 1998 (when he asked Bloomburg, his employers at the time, to transfer him to Paris so he could catch some of the World Cup) and has ended up anchoring TV coverage of the football almost by accident… and he’s clearly a bit of a character. For the Boxing Day coverage, he was dressed up in black tie (the concept of Boxing Day is alien to your average Frenchman and in 2011 was a normal working day), but for the Arsenal v Wolves game he was wearing what looked like a velvet smoking jacket in burgundy. Apparently he’s always a snappy dresser, my father-in-law tells me, and has been called “the Austin Powers of French television". His studio guests for the afternoon’s coverage were the distinctly unpromising Gerrard Houllier and Jean Alain Boumsong.  Actually, from what I could gather, Boumsong is an excellent pundit and Tulett is a good enough presenter to know not to let Gerrard Houllier speak too often....

He was funny too: often, at the end of a game, we would get a pitchside interview with one of the French-speaking players – Florent Malouda at the Chelsea game, for instance – but Canal+ also took the live feeds of interviews with some of the managers. When Alex Ferguson came on, Tullet informed the viewers that he would do his best to do an off-the-cuff translation as Ferguson spoke, but did warn us that he was Scottish so….. Sure enough, although the translation initially went well, before long, as Sir Alex became more and more impenetrable, so Tullet’s translation became a bit slower until he eventually started laughing (well, chuckling... he is a pro, after all).

I thought he was great fun. He’s got a really light touch and he knew how to bring the best out of his pundits and the coverage that was flicking around games. Apparently he’s known as Darren d’Angleterre and presents other football programmes on French tv that are inspired by the likes of Fantasy Football – one is even called “Match of ze Day”. He once (so I read) persuaded David Ginola to re-live the error that cost France World Cup qualification in 1993. In the sketch, Ginola ends up trying to hitch a ride out of the stadium with his France shirt over his shoulder to the "Lonely Man" theme tune from the Incredible Hulk. Brilliant.

Until I saw him on Boxing Day, I'd never even heard of him and he could probably walk unrecognised through the Sky Sports studios.  When you think of some of the idiots we have presenting football coverage in this country, that seems remarkable.

 Darren Tulett might not have scored 48 goals for England or anything like that, but he is possessed of charm, wit, a lightness of touch and the ability to competently present coverage of the English Premier League.... all of which is more than can be said for some people we might mention.

Can we send Gary Lineker to France on an exchange deal in the January transfer window?  Please?

Although, to be fair, why would Tulett want to come back?

He's a legend, and you can follow him on Twitter too - @DarrenCanalPlus

Our loss is French television's gain.

France 1 - 0 England.

Demba Ba for Newcastle (vs Manchester Utd), 4th January 2012

On Tuesday night, a Liverpool side minus Luis Suarez and with Andy Carroll playing up front got spanked 3-0 by Manchester City.

On Wednesday night, a sparkling Newcastle side spanked Manchester Utd 3-0, with Demba Ba, their Senegalese striker, scoring an absolutely splendid goal.

With every game that goes by, Andy Carroll (£35m, 4 goals in 23 appearances) looks more and more like a white elephant and his replacement in the Newcastle number 19 shirt (£0, 15 goals in 19 appearances) looks increasingly like the steal of this or many another season.

Before we get too carried away though, let’s just wait and see if Mike Ashley lets Alan Pardew build on Newcastle’s season so far by resisting any offers he might receive for Ba or Tiote during the transfer window, eh?

It's been a funny old season, eh?  As a Wolves fan, I felt like I couldn't wholeheartedly celebrate Blackburn's win at Old Trafford as I need at least three other teams in the division to remain below us, thank you very much.

This one I'm a little more comfortable with.

Luis Suarez for Liverpool (v Queens Park Rangers), 10 December 2011

It's been a good week for racism in football. Luis Suarez has been banned by eight matches and fined £40,000 for racially abusing Patrice Evra whilst Chelsea and England captain John Terry faces a racially aggravated public order charge for allegedly abusing QPR defender Anton Ferdinand in a match in October.

Both men could be guilty or both could be innocent. I suspect there are lots of people who would like to see Terry found guilty of his charge - not least because he epitomises almost everything that is wrong with paying chavs millions of pounds a year for kicking a ball about -although he is innocent until proven guilty and the courts will decide his fate.

What is extremely unpalatable is the way in which both clubs - particularly Liverpool - have reacted to these claims. Let's not forget that Suarez has already been found guilty by an independent tribunal which means (appeal pending, of course) that he has been found guilty of using racist/abusive language during a match.

Imagine you'd been found guilty of racist/abusive behaviour towards one of your colleagues at work. Do you imagine that your boss and all your colleagues would turn up for work the following day wearing t-shirts with your name on as a show of support? Do you expect your company would have made a statement condoning the decision and questioning the integrity of the person who made the allegations?

Of course they wouldn't. Let's face it - you would be lucky to keep your job at all. There are lots of companies that would march you to the front door with your belongings and sack you immediately for gross misconduct. They would also release a statement saying that racist behaviour cannot be tolerated and that these sorts of harsh measures have to be taken in order to eliminate this problem.

And that is why it's been a good week for racism in football. It's all very well for the FA and other bodies to hand down serious punishments for racist behaviour - and potentially the courts in Terry's case - but if the employers such as Liverpool continue to defend the actions of their players it shows that the clubs really don't care about taking racism seriously.

The Guardian hits the nail on the head when talking about the decision by the Liverpool team and management to wear t-shirts supporting their striker before Wednesday's match at Wigan: "This was a high-profile international found guilty of racist abuse 24 hours earlier and, raging with a sense of injustice or not, as Liverpool clearly are, they were inappropriate gestures at this stage of an already damaging saga".

In many ways Terry's case is similar in that it shows how different a footballer is treated in his situation than the rest of us. Again, say you had been charged with a racially aggravated public order offence having allegedly shouted racist abuse at someone in your office or in the streets. You'd subsequently been charged and have to appear in court next year.

Do you think your employers would jump to your defence? Do you think they'd continue to let you be the spokesperson for your organisation (or indeed your country) as Terry is as club as national captain?

Of course they wouldn't. What would happen is that you would be suspended from your job immediately the allegations were made. If found innocent you'd be reinstated immediately and if found guilty you'd be lucky to last the day before receiving your P45.

Again, Chelsea have failed to take the issue seriously and just one sentence from Andre Villas-Boas shows why: "We know exactly his human values and personality, so we will support him whatever happens."

Chelsea will support John Terry whatever happens. That means that if he is found guilty of this offence and is proved to be a horrible racist then his employers will support him. Is that taking a stance in kicking racism out of football? Of course it isn't. And this is why the FA and FIFA are wasting their time trying to kick racism out of football. If the clubs are prepared to support and defend racist behaviour, then it won't ever stop.

Karl Henry for Wolves (vs Charlton), 28th March 2008

I've received an early Christmas present.

Much to my wife's delight, our kitchen calendar next year will be the Official Wolverhampton Wanderers FC Calendar for 2012.

I don't know what it's like in your house, but in ours, the kitchen calendar is the source of all knowledge: if it's not in the calendar, then it's not happening.  For the next twelve months, we will be planning and mapping out our lives next to photos of some real Old Gold heroes.  As a sort-of closet Gooner, this will no doubt pain my wife.  Also, our strip no doubt clashes with the daffodil yellow we've apparently painted our kitchen with.....

Of course, the big risk with a calendar like this is that you could get to October and spend all month reliving your bitterness about the fact that you're going to be looking at a picture of a Kevin Doyle who actually left the club in the January transfer window.... but I suppose that's a risk you're just going to have to take.

Things already aren't looking all that great for January's poster boy: Roger Johnson was our big summer signing, but he's just been dropped from the side in favour of a 36 year old Jody Craddock (who hasn't been given a page this year at all, but as a club legend should probably get one every year, right?  Steve Bull should probably always be in there somewhere too.  Maybe John de Wolf too.  Andy Mutch, perhaps?  Robbie Dennison? Mick Stowell?  Bugger the current lot, let's stick to the classics).

Do you think that the players at clubs across the country reach nervously for their copies of the official club calendar as soon as it's printed to see if they've been included?  If you've been left out, then what does that say about your future at the club?  Or if you're desperate to leave, what if you've been put on December?  Is that the equivalent of issuing a "hands off!" statement to other clubs in Football Manager? 

Do manager's insist on copy approval?  Maybe they should.  ("Karl Henry for November?  If he's still playing for us then, then we really will be fucked!")

Sócrates for Brazil (vs USSR), 14th June 1982

Farewell then to Sócrates Brasileiro Sampaio de Souza Vieira de Oliveira.  Better known throughout the world simply as Sócrates, captain of perhaps the best side not to win the World Cup.  60 caps and 20 goals for Brazil; drinker; smoker; political activist; humanitarian; surely one of the greatest, coolest players to grace the game.

Check out this goal from the 1982 World Cup match against the USSR.



When asked which of Pele or Maradona was the greater player, Sócrates simply replied, "who cares?"... which is of course the correct answer.

A very, very cool guy, and also the owner of what must surely be the greatest beard football has ever seen.

1954 - 2011.

RIP.

His namesake had a pretty handy beard too, it must be said.  It wasn't the only thing they had in common: both died from complication arising from food poisoning.

Darren Ambrose for Crystal Palace (v Manchester United), 30 November 2011

101 Great Goals #58 - Darren Ambrose

Gary Neville called it the best goal he had ever seen an opposition player score at Old Trafford. It's a bold claim, but Darren Ambrose's strike that helped knock Manchester United out of the Carling Cup was an absolute belter.

And here at Cheer Up Alan Shearer we're delighted to bring you this superb goal with some rare Alan Partridge commentary. Truly a beautiful moment...