You know that sometimes real life just ends up being a million times funnier than anything you can write?
I was enjoying a pint in the summer sunshine today with a couple of colleagues when half the Nottingham Forest first team rolled in and enjoyed some beers and lunch on the adjacent tables.
After they left, I went to pay the bill and I asked the manager jokingly whether the Forest lads had tipped them well.
"Yeah", he replied. "We get all sorts in here, you know. We had Titus Bramble in here yesterday."
"Really?" I asked.
"Yeah," he replied. "He's a big fella, he is. He did knock his drink over, though......"