Musing on this, I wondered if we could arrive at a Football Cocks Eleven. Not dirty players, not cheating players. In fact, no real criteria at all other than the fact that a given player seems like a complete tool.
Shall I start with an XI and we'll tweak it as necessary?
The Football Cocks Eleven
Jens Lehmann
Rio Ferdinand
Danny Mills
Ashley Cole
Lee Bowyer
Robbie Savage
El-Hadji Diouf
Craig Bellamy
sub: Cristiano Ronaldo (I can't quite find him as big a cock as those other four midfielders)
manager: Graeme Souness (I'd have Mick McCarthy, personally)
chairman: Sam Hammam
any advance?
*update*
The specific criteria here is not that players are cheating and dirty, necessarily (hence the absence of the Portuguese), just that they seem like a cock. I appreciate that it's not the most tangible criteria ever, but you know what I mean. Alan Shearer might be a dirty so and so that elbowed his way through an entire career, but I am not sure he is a cock in the way that, say, Bowyer is, is he?
15 comments:
Surely Paul Ince deserves the captain's armband for any such team?
I really hate Diouf for his constant spitting. What a cock
I'd definitely opt for Drogba, and as manager of the Football Cocks Eleven it would have to be Mourinho.
Cristiano Ronaldo
I agree with everything that you say about El-Hadji Diouf and I can't fault the team selection. How about Graeme Souness as manager, with Peter Ridsdale as the Chairman.
Goal - Cristiano Ronaldo
Defenders - Cristiano Ronaldo, Cristiano Ronaldo, Cristiano Ronaldo, Cristiano Ronaldo
Midfield - Cristiano Ronaldo, Cristiano Ronaldo, Cristiano Ronaldo, Luis Figo
Attack - Cristiano Ronaldo, Cristiano Ronaldo
Subs: Cristiano Ronaldo, Cristiano Ronaldo, Cristiano Ronaldo, Cristiano Ronaldo, Robin Van Persie
and thats from a united fan....
Seriously:
Ricardo
Miguel
Meira
Ricardo Carvalho
Nuno Valente
Luis Figo
Maniche
Petit
Tiago
Ronaldo
Pauleta
Subs:
Postiga
Hugo Viana
Simao
Ref: Horacia Marcelo Elizonda
Speaking of refs, Jeff Winter anyone????
I'm not sure if he's a cock but Graeme Le Saux is definitely a knob.
Actually, maybe he's just a tit.
Enough of the semantics. Barry Fry for chairman!
Or howzabout Sam Hamann (Hammam, don’t know the spelling but you will all know who I mean) for Chairman? What was all the patting the head about? He sure knew how to wind up the opposition.
Deco
and i think you've missed the most important, most obvious and WORST!!!
i give you...
Mr Alan Shearer....
Ian Walker
Kieron Dyer
Ashley Cole (increasingly)
David Beckham (for off-field reasons, rather than because his useless poncing about on the field has particularly annoyed me)
Sinisa Mihajlovic
Fabrizzio Ravenelli
Paul Dickov
Graeme Souness as manager, I agree (and you can leave Merlin the Magician alone, thank you very much).
and I think Fat Freddie Shepherd has chances as chairman, surely? Perhaps alongside Ridsdale in some kind of dream team?
Kenyon as chief exec - no contest.
and Barry Davies can commentate.
ST
Surely Jody Morris is worthy of a place.....
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