Matthew Taylor for Bolton Wanderers (v Chelsea), 11 May 2008

Well being as the season is almost upon us already, I suppose it's long since time that we had a look at my rather sorry looking predictions for last year's Premier League Season and salute my mystic Meg-like genius have a bit of a giggle at what an idiot I make myself look every year, eh?

Come on then. Let's get it out of the way.

1. Man Utd **Champions**

They actually finished..... 1st.

Yay! one to me!

I said: "....Hargreaves in particular should be crucial in adding a bit of ballast to a very attack-heavy team. The signing of Tevez could also be a masterstroke (match fitness permitting). How the hell do you go about marking a front three of Tevez, Rooney and Ronaldo?"

Well, they did look unplayable at times....

"One to watch: Michael Carrick. Two-footed, great passer of the ball and with something of an eye for goal...It should be interesting to see how he blossoms now he will be free of anchorman duties. Giggs and Scholes are also crucial."

"Fantasy Football signing: blimey, take your pick. The defence will be tight and the forwards will be free scoring. I've gone for Patrice Evra myself."

Hmm. That's not bad, I guess, albeit a bit obvious. Hargreaves ended up playing a bit at right back though, which I hadn't quite foreseen. Carrick had a steady season, I suppose, and Evra did alright for my FF team as well (although Vidic or Ferdinand would have been better).... but how can you possibly look past Ronaldo?

2. Chelsea

They actually finished.... 2nd

Back of the net!

I said: "One to watch: Jose Mourinho. The special one looked on the edge of walking out a few times last season. He's apparently patched up his relationship with Abramovitch, but will he make the end of the season?"

Nope!

"Fantasy Football signing: Plenty of people will opt for Terry, Lampard or Drogba, but I always go for Petr Cech. His injury last season cost Chelsea the title."

Well, if you'd picked Terry, Lampard or Drogba for your team, then you might not have got as many points as you expected, but then again the same was true of Cech too, who looked shaky for the first time in his career (and sadly for the Czech's, not the last). That bit about Mourinho? You can quote me on that.

3. Liverpool

They actually finished.... 4th

Crap.

I said: "The new owners are certainly splashing the cash in an attempt to bridge the 21 points difference between them and Manchester Utd. Will Torres, Babel, Benayoun et al make any difference? Nah, they'll still finish 3rd. Expect a lot of bleating about history and tradition – as if this should somehow actually count for something in a title race."

Balls. All true, but I thought too much of them

"One to watch: The real question is not where Liverpool will finish in the league, but how long will Rafa's beard last before he realises it is a catastrophic mistake...

FF signing: One of the defenders. Torres will be pricey and won't score enough goals."

Well, the beard's still there and Torres scored a hatful. Hey ho.

4. Tottenham

They actually finished..... 11th.

Ooops.

I said: "This is a big season for Martin Jol. Spurs have made steady progress in the last few years, but with Arsenal's apparent slump, this looks like being their big chance to break into the top 4. Jol has been given time and money. If he doesn't do it this year, what odds on the Tony Soprano-a-like wearing a concrete overcoat and sleeping with the fishes?"

Well, Jol didn't last long, but long enough to bury their season.

"One to Watch: Jermaine Defoe. If he doesn't get the hint and do one soon, he'll be getting a lot of splinters."

True enough.

"FF signing: Berbatov or Bent are worth a look, although both will be expensive. Should be some value in the defenders though. I've gone for Michael Dawson."

Well, I think I ended up with both Bent and Berbatov... and kept Bent too long and ditched Berbatov too early. Oh well.

5. Arsenal

They actually finished..... 4th.

I should have know better than to underestimate Wenger, eh?

I said: "Interesting times at the Emirates. Thierry Henry limped and sulked his way to 11 goals last season and on the face of it will be very hard to replace. In practice though, the team might actually thrive now they have to look elsewhere for their inspiration. Fabregas is developing into one of the best midfielders in the world and players like Hleb, Gallas, Rosicky, Eboue, Adebayor and the like have a lot of quality."

Right on Fabregas, and hit lucky with Adebayor, but were the others anything much?

"FF signing: Eboue has been playing on the wing in some pre-season friendlies. Could be worth a look as the defence is likely to be solid."

Well, he played on the wing, but I dropped him pretty quickly.

6. Everton

They actually finished...... 5th

I said: "Everton under Moyes have seemed to lurch from good season to bad season and then back again. They did well last year, but I reckon they'll break the jinx this time around and push for Europe again this year. They've not signed much, but what they've signed looks like it could "do a job"."

Yup.

"One to watch: Phil Jagielka. Where will he play? Full back? Centre Back? Midfield? Goal? Truly the MacGyver of footballers."

The MacGyver of footballers? That's good, I might steal that. Oh... I said it?

7. Blackburn

They actually finished..... 7th

Back on track!

I said: "....I imagine they’ll be effective again this season, although quite how useful Roque Santa Cruz will be in the Premiership remains to be seen."

Not bad, it turns out....

"FF signing: David Bentley. The new Beckham?"

Yeah.... he does a reasonable job, even if the old one simply refuses to go away.

8. Aston Villa

They actually finished..... 6th

I said: "Martin O’Neill’s arrival last time seemed to be the most important thing to happen at Villa Park in years, and although his first season was one of steady rather than spectacular progress, perhaps we should expect more this year. "

True enough, although I underestimated quite how much.

"FF signing: Gareth Barry. Solid points scorer with steady assists and the odd penalty. I’ve also got a soft spot for Olof Mellberg, for some reason."

Both legends, although it looks pretty likely now that Barry will follow Mellberg out of the door.

9. Portsmouth

They actually finished..... 8th

Not bad.

I said: "Surely they can’t do as well as they did last season? They’ve got a nightmare start with games against Arsenal, Chelsea, Man Utd and Liverpool in their first 6 games. Mind you, with David James, Sol Campbell and Linvoy Primus anchoring their defence again this year, who knows?"

Well, they didn't do badly in the end...picking up the FA Cup along the way.

"One to watch: David Nugent. He was by far and away the best striker in the Championship last season and scored on his full England debut… he’s clearly brave because he snubbed Roy Keane and a possible move to Sunderland, but is he going to cut it in the Premier League?"

Er, no.

"FF signing: Matty Taylor. He did brilliantly last year, partly because he was still being classified as a defender and thus benefited from all those clean sheet points…. But he also scored some absolutely cracking goals."

Sidelined by Portsmouth but when he moved to Bolton, he was soon scoring points again and looks like he might be worth a shout this year too.

10. Newcastle

They actually finished..... 12th

I said: "Surely the biggest news for Newcastle is that they have finally got rid of Fat Freddie Shepherd and in Big Sam Allardyce, they might finally have a manager with the drive and ambition to take them somewhere"

Well, Big Sam didn't last long, eh?

"....if Michael Owen stays fit then who knows where they could go? What’s going on between the chairman and Big Sam though? Where are the really big signings? Why is Dyer still there?"

Was Michael Owen fit? Not really? Did Dyer stay? Not for long. Where are the really big signings? Still waiting....

"One to watch: Shay Given. Always the key for Newcastle when they had such a shaky defence… perhaps he’ll have a bit of protection now?"

Hahahaha. No.

11. Reading

They actually finished..... 18th.

Wrong. Wrong. Wrong. Maybe should have seen this coming.

I said: "Steve Coppell is a genius. They were almost everyone’s favourites for relegation last year and they nearly got into Europe. They’ve lost Steven Sidwell to Chelsea, and not signed much, so will they be able to pull off the same trick this year?"

In a word? No.

12. Bolton

They actually finished...... 16th

I said: "Little Sam has a tough act to follow in Big Sam, that much is for sure. We’re told that the rather robust Bolton style is going to be replaced by a shorter passing game, but frankly I’ll believe that when I see it. Kevin Davies and a fast, fluid passing game does not compute. Surely the only way is down?"

Yes, but much further down than I imagined, and Little Sam didn't last long either, before he was replaced by the awful lot more pragmatic Megson. My pick of Gary Speed didn't last too long either. Anelka would have been okay as a fantasy pick, as I suggested, I suppose... but only up to a point. Rubbish.

13. West Ham

They actually finished...... 10th

That high? Really?

I said: "I’m sure Alan Curbishley will just be delighted to put last season behind him, but surely things won’t be as bad this year? The signings of Scott Parker, Craig Bellamy and Freddie Ljunberg will surely help, but perhaps the biggest bonus of all is the return of Dean Ashton from injury. No Tevez this time though…. But surely they won’t need a miracle this term?"

Not a vintage season, and far too many injuries to really assess them properly.

"One to watch: Craig Bellamy. He’s quick and talented and sure to score goals. Mind you, he’ll be worth watching just to see how quickly he blows up and goes after one of his team mates with a golf club. If Kieron Dyer ever signs, it might be worth watching Lee Bowyer too… ding ding… round 2."

Bellamy? Get out of town.

14. Middlesbrough

They actually finished......13th

I said: "This is a big season for Gareth Southgate. He’s lost Viduka and is under pressure to sell Yakubu. How will he cope without the heaviest striking partnership in the league? I predict a difficult season."

Well, Yakubu soon followed Vuduka out of the door, as did Woodgate, but somehow Southgate muddled his way through the season. Lucky or genius in the making?

"One to watch: Gaizka Mendieta. Wasn’t this guy one of the best players in Europe? What the hell happened? Where is he? Why can’t he keep people like Lee Cattermole out of the side?"

Heavens above. If you find him, let me know.

"FF signing: Stewart Downing. Does he really want to be at Boro? Will he be an even better pick if he moves to somewhere like Spurs?"

Still there.....

15. Sunderland

They actually finished..... 15th

Yes! Back on track!

I said: "Of the promoted sides, they are comfortably the favourites to avoid the drop. Whether they can or not probably depends as much on the manager as it does on the players."

Yup.

"One to watch: Roy Keane. He’s confounded almost everyone with how he has carried himself as a manager, but how will he cope if his team struggles? He’s tried to sign a number of players and failed in pre-season and is the £9m signing of a Scottish goalkeeper an act of genius or of desperation? Time will tell. If he loses it, I imagine he will lose it big time."

Keane seems stable enough, as it goes, but very much the same is true this year. Will he build or will they fall back? Seems to like ex-Spurs players.

16. Man City

They actually finished.....9th

I said: "Eriksson has splashed the cash, but it seems likely that most of the players haven’t even met the manager yet, never mind any of their colleagues. It could be a long season."

Well, they started better than they finished, but for Sven it was a triumph really.. even if it ludicrously ended with him being sacked. He actually looked like he knew what he was doing.

"FF signing. Perhaps worth taking a punt on Bianchi. Italian strikers have a dreadful record in English football, but this guy got 18 in Serie A last year… so you never know, right?"

No. Just don't.

17. Fulham

They actually finished......17th

I rule.

I said: "This is Laurie Sanchez’s big chance in the Premier League, and he gave up the Northern Ireland job to make the most of it. Still, his signings should make him feel right at home: Baird, Davies, Hughes and Healey were all members of the Norn Iron side that beat Spain. They only avoided relegation by a single point last season, and I imagine it could be more of the same again this time around."

Fulham stayed up in spite of Sanchez's best efforts and because of the talent of Roy Hodgson.

"One to watch: David Healy. Phenomenally successful for Northern Ireland but often starting off the bench with struggling Leeds. How will he take to the Premiership? The answer will be critical to Fulham’s chances."

Well, they stayed up and he hardly played, so what do I know?

"FF signing: Jimmy Bullard. Not quite back from injury yet, but is capable of scoring a lot of goals from midfield. As he was out for most of last season, he should also be relatively cheap."

Well, he looked good for the last few games of the season, but they're the only ones that he played.......

18. Birmingham

They actually finished......19th

I said: "Steve Bruce did really well to get Birmingham out of the maelstrom of the Championship last year, and rumour has it he was inches from getting the boot at Christmas… but he hung on and his side came back strongly to clinch automatic promotion. What are their chances this year? Where are the signings? Where will the goals come from? A struggle ahead, I think."

Yup. And Bruce escaped with enough time to rescue Wigan too.

"FF signing. Hmm. Maik Taylor and Franck Quedrue are probably the best of a bad bunch, but you wouldn’t want to be relying on any clean sheet points. Forssell has done well in the past, I suppose."

You'd've been better with no one, frankly.

19. Wigan

They actually finished......14th

I said: "Wigan narrowly avoided relegation last year and the signing of Titus Bramble hardly fills me with any confidence that they’ll be able to avoid the drop again this year. Paul Jewell is another tough act to follow… and is Chris Hutchings really the man to do it?"

Well, no.... but it turns out that Steve Bruce was.

"One to watch: Titus Bramble. Once touted as an England defender in waiting, now just openly laughed at for his physique and his tendency to drop at least one bollock every single game. Perhaps the politest thing to say is that he has a lot to prove."

Still very much a clown with lots to prove.

20. Derby

They actually finished.... 20th.

Not a difficult pick, I'm sad to say.

I said: "Hmm. I think this is going to be a long hard slog."

Yup. Turns out it was. Even Paul Jewell could do nothing with this lot.

"One to Watch: Billy Davies. Seems a bit combustible and threatened to walk out immediately after the play-off victory last season. Who knows what he’ll do when his side start losing?"

Well, as it turns out, Davies was combustible, but with results like that he was never going to last long with a gob that big.

"FF signing: Robert Earnshaw is unpredictable, but has scored goals at this level before."

Good luck with that one, Nottingham Forest.....

----

So, the usual rubbish mixed in with a few lucky guesses.

More of the same in the next few days?

Well, I'll do my best to get to it before the season actually begins, but I'm making no promises.... you hear? This kind of half-arsed punditry takes flippin' ages.

So. In summary.

#	My League table:	Actual League table:
1	Manchester Utd	Manchester Utd
2	Chelsea	Chelsea
3	Liverpool	Arsenal
4	Tottenham	Liverpool
5	Arsenal	Everton
6	Everton	Aston Villa
7	Blackburn Rovers	Blackburn Rovers
8	Aston Villa	Portsmouth
9	Portsmouth	Manchester City
10	Newcastle	West Ham
11	Reading	Tottenham
12	Bolton Wanderers	Newcastle Utd
13	West Ham	Middlesbrough
14	Middlesbrough	Wigan
15	Sunderland	Sunderland
16	Manchester City	Bolton Wanderers
17	Fulham	Fulham
18	Birmingham	Reading
19	Wigan	Birmingham
20	Derby County	Derby County

Not as easy as it looks, this punditry thing.

Matty Taylor's goal above? That's the one that cost me the title in my Fantasy Football League. The last goal scored in the whole damn season and it costs me the title. By one measley point.

Pah!

Phil Taylor for England (v James Wade), 26 July 2008

Do you think that if Phil Taylor approaches a fairground sideshow (like the one here) that the owner just hands him a giant plush Scooby-Doo, or do you think they make him go through the rigmarole?

Kaka for Brazil (v Croatia), 13 June 2006

Remember when Peter Kenyon asserted that "it is in the best interests of Chelsea to be self-sufficient" and that "it is not prudent to run a football club on the basis of a benefactor building up a big debt-stream"? That's right, they were going to be self-sufficient from 2010.

Apparently, this is best served by them spunking £79.3 million on Brazilian midfielder Kaka (on top of the £8m they have spent on Deco and £17m on Jose Boswinga).

Chelsea made just over £190m in revenue in 2008.

I'm no mathematician, but when you've paid everyone's wages etc, there can't be nearly £100m for new signings, surely?

Self-sufficient my arse. Good job the Russian retains deep pockets....

David Mitchell for Australia (v Israel), 8 October 1985

There's a nice article on the Guardian website right now written by excellent and talented British comic David Mitchell about how he doesn't care for football all that much.

The reason I mention it is not for the content of the piece (as lighthearted and amusing as it is) but for the comments that the Guardian's fine readership have left.

I wonder why you'd bother writing an 875 word piece when amongst your comments you get:

"I like peepshow but seriously grow some nuts."

I laughed out loud when I read that, and I still can't wipe the smile off my face. It's possibly the least perceptive bit of commentary I have ever seen...

(a propos nothing the spectacularly surreal and genius Mitchell and Webb "Cheesoid" sketch is here)

Jo for CSKA Moscow (v Inter Milan), 23 October 2007

So, Manchester City have confirmed the club record £18m signing of Jo.

Rumours that Mark Hughes is planning to add £5m signing Bradley, £3m rated Hannah and £10m stunner Rachel to his Eastlands line-up have today been denied by the club. In a statement, a club official confirmed that City were assembling a squad to "reach for the stars" and they were hoping that Hughes would "bring it [their previous success] all back". Jo himself said that he had "never had a dream come true" before, that was was a "natural" goalscorer and that there "ain't no party like an Eastlands party".

More to follow.

Junior Lewis for Hull City (v Chesterfield), 1 February 2005

We may have commented on this before (here and here) but, hilariously, it has happened again and so deserves (yet) another mention.

Peter Taylor has once again signed Junior Lewis.

Lewis has now worked with Taylor at 8 clubs and the ex-England manager's regular signing of the (frankly rubbish) midfielder has gone beyond a joke. I like Ian's theory that Taylor's actually his dad (allegedly, clearly this is a theory/joke, don't anyone get upset) as I can't think of any other reason for this preposterous decade long faith....

[thanks to Ian for the link]

Fernando Torres for Spain (v Germany), 29 June 2008

OK,OK.

So I maybe once or twice stated quite categorically that Spain didn't have the mental strength or team ethic to win the European Championships.

Hmmm. It sppears they were much better than I expected. Well done to them - I don't begrudge them a win as there has rarely been a country whose international trophy haul belies the talent they have been able to draw on (except for Holland and to a lesser extent England, I suppose). Clearly they have some good players, and the introduction of (Brazilian) Marcos Senna seems to have been the glue that held the side together this time.

Was it a good tournament? I'm not sure it was any better or worse than previous Championships to be honest. There were some nice moments - the Turks "never say die" attitude was a delight, as was the Dutch's early promise but ultimately it petered out when the knockout stages began.

One thing I am in entire agreement with Martin Samuel about, though, is the format for the tournament. Sometime in 2002 (to accommodate teams based either in South Korea or in Japan) the format was tweaked so teams in the same half of the draw were able to meet each other twice before the Final.

For example, Turkey had to play Brazil in the group stages in 2002 and also in the semi-final. This time around Russia faced the Spanish twice in both group stage and semi-final.

There should be no way that a time has to face another more than once unless the trophy itself is at stake. Clearly it is possible two teams might face each other twice in any given tournament but this should never be allowed to happen until the final itself. Changing the format again to ensure this is the case shouldn't take much, and considering the tournament is about to be expanded to 24 teams anyway (a ridiculous idea which will dilute further the quality of the competition - when UEFA has 53 members it means that almost half will end up at the Finals) it should be near the top opf the agenda when the tournament schedule is designed.

In the meantime, congratulations to Spain - worthy winners.

Christiano Ronaldo for Portugal (vs Czech Republic), June 11 2008

The whole grubby "Ronaldo to Madrid" saga is taking all of the usual ups and downs at the moment (you know: Madrid whisper sweet nothings at a player under contract to someone else and insinuate that the move is on to the press; the press print stories and elicit angry denials from the club holding the player's registration; the player comes out with his desire to play for Madrid; Madrid innocently claim they have definitely not tried to tap up the player; other club threatens to let the player rot in the reserves for the duration of his contract... then sell him for the maximum amount of money. Everyone's happy?)

I was interested to read this piece in the Guardian by Daniel Taylor though. He tells the story of some petulant behaviour by Ronaldo at a press conference at the Manchester United training ground to commemorate the anniversary of the Munich air crash. The behaviour itself is probably not so surprising and the article is designed to reinforce your view of Ronaldo as a petulant little shit and generally unpleasant piece of work. The really interesting bit is when Taylor says:

"It was such an unpleasant scene the journalists decided not to write about it because we had been invited to the training ground to cover a far more important subject and, when you have sat with men as noble as Charlton, Foulkes, Albert Scanlon, Harry Gregg and Kenny Morgans and seen the hurt in their eyes, it felt incongruous to veer off-track."

I can kind of see what he means, but as the commentators on the post point out, are the football press pack really so complicit that they didn't think this worthy of comment and collectively decided to sit on it? What other stories are they sitting on?

The story doesn't make Christiano Ronaldo look terribly good, but neither does it do the press pack any favours.

Daniele de Rossi for Italy (v France), 17 June 2008

I know we shouldn't be surprised by the pundits on the BBC talking absolute nonsense, but Spain's penalty shootout triumph over Italy last night was twice referred to as "a victory for football".

I can see what they are getting at - Spain played almost all of the expansive attacking football when compared to Italy's defensive minded approach - but a vacuous soundbite of that stature surely can't go unpunished?

The whole point of football (and, some would argue especially international football) is that it pitches different styles and mentalities against one another. Italy are the second most successful international team in world football history and their success has, as a generalisation, been built on defensive knowhow coupled with a plethora of attacking talents. The Italian game is defined as careful, possession-led, organised and, I suppose, somehow stylish.

If, as Gary Lineker would have you believe, that Spain's win was "a victory for football" then we ought to be seeing Brazil win every World Cup from now on. Real Madrid would presumably be the European Champions every year and Arsenal would win the Premier League. The fact remains is that it doesn't work like that. History is litterered with triumps borne from tactical knowhow and organisation (think Greece in 2004), home advantage (think England in 1966) and, on occasions, luck (think Germany in 1996).

Teams who adopt defensive strategies that play to their strengths are as valid and as important to the game as those carefree attacking sides. Whether they are as easy on the eye is a different matter entirely, but they should not be criticised for adopting an approach within the rules of the game that suits their priorities. If I admire the organisation and defensive style of the Italians and the quality of their world-class goalkeeper (which I do), their frustration of a talented Spanish side for 120 minutes is as much of a "victory for football" as any.

Blaise Kufo for FC Twente (v Ajax), 10 May 2008

After some weeks of negotiation, it was today announced that hapless ex-England manager Steve McLaren has agreed to be the new manager of Dutch top-flight side FC Twente. An interesting career decision it is, but a good one, I think. Twente are a nice side, have just qualified for the Champions League and are in a league where the dominance of the top three sides is not as strong as it has been in previous eras.

It has been a bizarre managerial season in the Eredivisie in so much as the top six sides from last season will start the new campaign with a different manager. Ajax have replaced (temporary) manager Adrie Koster with the current national coach Marco van Basten. Bert van Marwijk quit Feyenoord to be the new national coach and Gertjan Verbeek left Heerenveen to replace him at the de Kuip. Norwegian Trond Sollied has joined Heerenveen and PSV appointed well-respected coach Huub Stevens to replace temporary coach Sef Vergoosen. McLaren has jointe FC Twente after previous manager Fred Rutten left to take up the Schalke job.

The oddest managerial change though came at NAC Breda. After finishing third in the Eredivisie - their highest ever league position - the club decided not to renew coach Ernie Brandt's contract. To say the fans weren't happy was something of an understatement after he fashioned a side including journeymen like Anthony Lurling and Joonas Kolkka that at one stage were challenging for the title.

I think McLaren might do an OK job in Holland. Twente played well last season and knocked Ajax out of the Champions League qualifying play-offs. In Orlando Engelaar they have one of the stars of Euro 2008 so far, and prolific Swiss striker Blaise Kufo extended his contract in April. It will be interesting to see whether McLaren turns to England for new signings (ex-Boro player Luke Wikshire already plies his trade at the Grolsch Veste) or whether his knowledge of the Dutch game is good enough that he can buy from rival clubs.

From my point of view, it just adds (yet another) reason to watch the Setanta coverage and I might even add Twente to my next Dutch excursion. Oh, and Steve - the Dutch for "umbrella" is "paraplu".....

Andrea Pirlo for Italy (v France), 17 June 2008

I can't make any particular excuses for the lack of biting analysis and stunning insight into Euro 2008 on this site of late. Such as that was likely, obviously.

The simple fact is that it is, as I predicted before the tournament began, the first World Cup/European Championships I haven't watched avidly in two decades. I simply can't get that excited about it. Some of the football has been good, and there have been one or two intriguing/exciting games but I somehow feel that I have seen it all before.

The one pleasing element has been the success so far of the maligned Dutch side. In England's absence, the Dutch (thanks to my love of their league game) were always going to be the side I would follow, but I (like many others) never gave them a chance. However, van Basten's change of formation (from 4-3-3 to 4-2-3-1) has allowed their talented attack-minded midfielders to shine and the two defensive midfielders (de Jong and Engelaar) have played brilliantly, providingthe platform on which the rest have played.

I predicted a Germany v Italy final and not much has swayed me from that view. Indeed, I backed the Italians at 20/1 after their draw with Romania and that looks like awfully good value all of a sudden. As I said a while back, I strongly believe that Spain won't prevail and despite them performing better than I anticipated, I still don't think they will be strong enough.

Perhaps it is football fatigue, England's absence (saying that, wouldn't we have been humbled and out already bearing in mind the quality we'd have faced?) or (as I said before the tournament) the prevalence of familiar faces but I can't really get terribly excited.

(Oh, and Gary Lineker becomes more smarmy and irritating every time I turn my television on. It is now at the point where I can barely watch him.)

Giovanni van Bronckhurst for Holland (v Italy), 9 June 2008

I knew this competition would be good for these...

"Did he just say he was making a "pasta di natale"?"

Luca Modric for Croatia (v Austria), 8 June 2008

I can see the European Championships being a rich source of these....

Mrs LB: "....did he just say that player is called Outhouse?"

Xavi for Spain (v USA), 4 June 2008

According to the bookies they are second favourites, but has no-one remembered the little-but-important fact that the second Spain get to a major football tournament that they are *utterly* rubbish?

I know they have Torres this time and Xavi and Iniesta and assorted other excellent players, but they have had top class players at every tournament they've ever been in. When Gary Lineker says he will plump for "perennial underachievers Spain to win Euro 2008" he seems to be ignoring the key two words in his analysis - the "perennial underachiever" bit.

The Germans are the clear favourites, although it should be remembered that their brand of un-German free-flowing attacking football came unstuck last time out against the Italians. Germany are putting (basically) the same XI out this time around and so whilst they would be a surprisingly popular (I think) winner, I just think they'll encounter someone who'll blunt their attack and take advantage of their slight weaknesses in defence.

Portugal could be brilliant or awful - they have spent a decade playing international football with one rubbish striker and that situation hasn't altered much. There aren't enough wings on a football pitch to house Quaresma, Simao, Nani, Ronaldo et al and so some square pegs must fit into some round holes. They'll have a good run, but short of a certain Madrid bound winger winning it singlehandedly I don't think they have quite enough.

So who does that leave? The French (average age 42) have a wealth of experience and one or two youthful matchwinners in Benzema and Ribery. Italy are always strong and come in as World Champions but the loss of Cannavaro is a blow and their current crop of players have been pulling up no trees in the Champions League of late. Holland got the worst of all draws as to have any chance they have to eliminate either France or Italy in the group stages, but if they do get out of the group it is an easier path to the final than you might think. Saying that, it wouldn't be a major international tournament without disharmony in the Dutch camp and with concerns over van Basten's managerial abilities, players leaving the squad and an acute shortage of talent in certain areas (Mario Melchiot is in the squad, for Lord's sake) they might horrifically underperform.

I've each way money on Sweden - always better than the sum of their parts and "only" Russia and Greece to contend with to escape group D. Croatia would have been a good outside bet also but the goals of Eduardo will be too much of a miss.

So, what's the conclusion of all that, then? Er, I don't know really. I suppose you'd just have to be brave to back the Spanish, insane to back the Austrians and don't underestimate the power of the home support in these events (the Swiss, clearly, are the pick here). Oh, and a Germany v Italy final, with the World Champions prevailing. That should guarantee Carlos Puyol holding aloft the trophy on 29th June, then.....

Marco van Basten for Holland (v USSR), 25 June 1988

So, the European Championships begins this weekend. Despite the BBC's constant badgering (they might as well have called their promotional campaign "Please Watch This Anyway!") I can't get terribly excited about it.

Clearly I'll watch it all, and clearly I'll blog about it incessantly (despite having absolutely no angle to take whatsoever) but for the first time in years I could happily let a major international football tournament pass me by.

I'm not sure why this is. On the face of it, the absence of any partial interest is probably unconsciously a factor. It's also the first European based football tournament I haven't physically attended in a decade. I think it's more straightforward than that, though, and I blame the Premiership and the Champions League.

When I was younger, and even into my twenties, I'd tune into the World Cup or European Championships to watch colourful fans and skills and players from far away lands of which I had no knowledge. I met a bunch of Slovenians in Amsterdam in 2000 and could name one of their squad (the mercurial playmaker Zlatko Zahovic) and yet got caught up in the atmosphere of that day precisely because they were "new" and unknown.

Now, fed on a diet of Premiership football and the Champions League, most of the mystique has gone. In 1990, no-one outside of Italy (and many inside!) had heard of Salvatore Schillaci but half the wonder of that tournament was the emergence of this little, bulging-eyed dynamo. The stars of Euro 2008 are likely to be Torres and Henry and Ballack, players who we know inside out.

We'll be surprised, as ever, a dark horse will give us a good story (a la Greece in 2004) and a wondergoal will come from an unknown as surely as it has from a Vasily Rats or a Tomas Skuhravy over the years. Back in the day we were lucky if we got to see one or two world class players on "Match of the Day" and so we tuned in eagerly to these summer tournaments to see the others in action. This summer we'll pretty much have seen it all before.

Ryan Giggs for Manchester United (v Wigan Athletic), 11 May 2008

The 2007/8 CUAS Predictions League

Thank you once again to all of you who trot over here every week or so and input random numbers in the name of careful considered prediction. From Stoke to Sydney they come, and all of your input is much appreciated.

This years Predictions League was almost a foregone conclusion from early on, as last years winner Shane romped to a comfortable win and a retention of his title. Well done Shane!

A sterling effort from Swiss Toni took him to second, and well done also to Andy in third (who I believe scored the highest weekly total of the season).

More again in August? Oh, go on then.

George Best for Manchester United (v Benfica), 29 May 1968

At the risk of being partisan for one brief moment, I am really, really quite nervous. Eleven hours to go.

*bites nails*

[some re-hashed memories of the last time this happened are here]

Didier Drogba for Chelsea (v Liverpool), 30 April 2008

And so the European club football season moves towards its climax this Wednesday as England's very own Chelsea and Manchester United go head to head in the final of the 2007/8 Champions League.

Great for English football, best League in the world blah blah blah. This may all be true, frankly, and I can't begrudge either my fellow United or the Chelsea fans the excitement of the European Cup Final but I can't help feeling that there is something fundamentally wrong with the European Cup Final being between two teams from the same nation.

Two teams from the same nation can't both be their league champions, can they?

I appreciate that this has happened before (in 2000 and 2003) and that the recent history of the Champions League is littered with winners and finalists who weren't the champions of their respective countries when they won the tournament. I also understand that there isn't a snowball chance in hell of this changing any time soon.

It just seems to defeat the whole object of a Champions Cup (which it effectively is) when the final can be between two clubs from one country.

Platini has the right idea by trying to open up the competition to more of the "lower ranked" countries. The beauty of a knockout competition is that there can be upsets along the way, but naturally the larger clubs want to keep these to a minimum (the league format will often see to that) otherwise they lose a great proportion of their precious television revenue.

Abolish the league stages, let the first round include every Champion from Bosnia to Belgium and remove the daft "you can't play someone from your own country" rule. Famously, Nottingham Forest beat reigning European champions Liverpool in the first round in 1979.

I don't much care how good an all English final is for the English game (all English clubs - a smattering of English players, of course on show) but I would like to say a Champion win the Champions League occasionally.

Stewart Downing for Middlesbrough (vs Manchester City), 11 May 2008

Like millions of other people, I've been playing in a Fantasy Football league this year. Although I do play in a league with some friends in the Telegraph's game, the main focus of my attention, as usual, was the office "friends and enemies" league we have on FantasyLeague.com. It's a squad game, and you have to perm your 16 players in such a way as to maximise your points scoring opportunities. It's great fun.

After a terrible start, I had been behind the pace for most of the season, but as we came into the final round of fixtures, I was only a few points off the pace and in with a real shout. The last set of games in the Premier League, of course, are all played at the same time, so every manager had to choose what they thought was their strongest side and cross their fingers that they players they had been forced to leave out didn't play a blinder. I had some transfers left, so I was able to replace some of my benched players with the cheapest goalkeepers and could beef up my defence with the addition of Petr Cech and Paulo Ferreira. My hardest decision was who to play in my midfield. I felt that Bentley, Ronaldo and Ashley Young were all shoe-ins, but the final place was a toss up between Jimmy Bullard, whose game against Portsmouth meant everything to Fulham, and Stewart Downing, who would be playing in a nothing game against Manchester City.

Do I need to mention what happened next?

My side did well.... but my decision to play Jimmy "2 points" Bullard instead of Stewart "8 points" Downing cost me dear, and Bolton's late equaliser cost me a further 6 points.

In the final analysis, I lost by a single point.

To be fair, the winner had left Downing out of his side too, and when Bolton's goal cost him another 3 points, he thought that he'd blown it too. Little did he realise that Matty Taylor's goal had actually won him the title.

Stupid game.

Incidentally, my mate who was second in the whole Telegraph Fantasy League competition with two weeks to go and £50,000 to play for.... he's now 18 points adrift with only the cup final to go. So close.... although his consolation prize is likely to be a couple of grand. I get a silver medal mousemat.

Gutted.

Erik Nevland for Fulham (v Birmingham City), 3 May 2008

You will be pleased/relieved/delighted/distraught (* delete as applicable) to know that this is the final week of the CUAS 2007/8 Predictions League. Results to follow in due course.....

Birmingham 1-1 Blackburn
Chelsea 2-0 Bolton
Derby 1-1 Reading
Everton 2-1 Newcastle
Middlesbrough 0-0 Man City
Portsmouth 0-1 Fulham
Sunderland 0-2 Arsenal
Tottenham 1-1 Liverpool
West Ham 1-1 Aston Villa
Wigan 1-3 Man Utd

and its the penultimate day of the French season, don't you know? (PSG still in the bottom three with 2 games to go....)

Le Mans 1-1 Marseille
Lyon 2-1 AS Nancy
Monaco 1-0 Auxerre

Titus Bramble for Wigan Athletic (v Liverpool), 2 January 2008

You know that sometimes real life just ends up being a million times funnier than anything you can write?

I was enjoying a pint in the summer sunshine today with a couple of colleagues when half the Nottingham Forest first team rolled in and enjoyed some beers and lunch on the adjacent tables.

After they left, I went to pay the bill and I asked the manager jokingly whether the Forest lads had tipped them well.

"Yeah", he replied. "We get all sorts in here, you know. We had Titus Bramble in here yesterday."

"Really?" I asked.

"Yeah," he replied. "He's a big fella, he is. He did knock his drink over, though......"

Mark de Bolla for AFC Wimbledon (v Staines Town), 3 May 2008

As the season draws to a close, four teams deserve a CUAS pat on the back for their respective promotions. (Clearly there are many teams who deserve a pat on the back - in fact pretty much anyone who has been promoted with the exception of the Milton Keynes Dons who I still hope implode and disappear, never to be seen again).

Still, I'd like to indulge myself by selecting four, if I may.

Firstly, to the team whose ground is less than a mile as the row flies from my front door, and whose fans I could hear jubilantly singing at 4.55pm yesterday afternoon from my back garden, congratulations to Nottingham Forest who finally escaped from the third division on account of defeating Yeovil 3-2, but more thanks to Cheltenham Town's 2-1 win over Doncaster Rovers. It's great to see Forest back in the Championship and I sincerely hope they can consolidate their position next season.

Secondly, and wholly appropriately in the season that fake franchise team the MK Dons achieved promotion, AFC Wimbledon escaped from the Ryman Premier League by beating Staines Town 2-1 in the play-off final. It's the Conference South for AFC next season, and I hope their eventual elevation to the Football League is achieved at the expense of their fake MK rivals.

Thirdly, and for no other reason than I drive past the Britannia Stadium an average of of ten times a month, congratulations to unfashionable Stoke City whose 0-0 draw against Leicester today not only relegated the Foxes to the third tier for the first time in their 124 year history but also secured promotion for the Potters after a 23 year absence. I like it when "new" teams reach the Premiership and I hope they do themselves proud. Similarly, good luck to the Cities of Hull and Bristol in the play-offs.

Finally, and from a personal perspective I'd like to congratulate FC United of Manchester who continued their meteoric rise through the divisions by winning the Unibond First Division North play-off final 4-1 against Skelmersdale Town. Next season sees them fight it out in the Unibond Premier which is where the real fight begins as that's not an easy division to get out of....

Paul Scholes for Manchester Utd (v Barcelona), 29 April 2008

Follow, follow, follow, cause United are going to Moscow!...... (assuming the embassy process their visas and they get a flight, that is)

Aston Villa 2-0 Wigan
Blackburn 2-0 Derby
Bolton 0-0 Sunderland
Fulham 1-0 Birmingham
Man Utd 2-0 West Ham
Middlesbrough 1-0 Portsmouth
Reading 2-1 Tottenham
Arsenal 2-0 Everton
Liverpool 2-0 Man City
Newcastle 1-1 Chelsea

and it's the Scottish League play-offs, don't you know?

Clyde 2-1 Alloa
Cowdenbeath 2-1 Arbroath
Stranraer 1-1 Montrose

Emmanuel Adebayor for Arsenal (v Derby County), 28 April 2008

Some absolutely first-class understatement from Jon Champion on Setanta tonight.

"Derby have set a new benchmark for Premier league unsuitability...."

Really?

Steed Malbranque for Tottenham Hotspur (v Bolton Wanderers), 26 April 2008

There is a scene in Martin McDonagh's excellent new film "In Bruges" where Colin Farrell asks Brendan Gleeson if he believes in heaven and hell. "What's that place in between?", muses Farrell. "Is it purgatory? That's where you go when you are somewhere in-between, not really good but not really sh*t either?"

"Yes", concurs Gleeson.

Farrell ponders this.

"Like Tottenham?"

John Arne Riise for Chelsea (v Liverpool), 22 April 2008

Nearly at the finishing post.....!

Birmingham 1-1 Liverpool
Chelsea 1-0 Man Utd
Man City 2-0 Fulham
Sunderland 1-0 Middlesbrough
Tottenham 2-0 Bolton
West Ham 2-1 Newcastle
Wigan 2-1 Reading
Everton 1-1 Aston Villa
Portsmouth 1-1 Blackburn
Derby 0-3 Arsenal

and wildcards from "squeaky bum" time at both ends of the Championship

Hull 2-1 Crystal Palace
Leicester 1-1 Sheffield Wed
Sheff Utd 2-1 Bristol City

David Villa for Valencia (v Athletic Bilbao), 20 April 2008

Following my somewhat withering assessment of Ronald Koeman's managerial ability here, it will come as no surprise to anyone who's followed his coaching career that he has been sacked as manager of Valencia after just six months in the job.

It actually might go down in history as one of the most hapless managerial stints of all time. He took over when Valencia were fourth, four points behind leaders Real Madrid and leaves them sixteenth, two points off the relegation zone and a mere 33 points behind Real. He won 4 of his 22 games in charge and alienated a grand proportion of the fans and players by sidelining experienced internationals such as Canizares, Angulo and Albelda. The final nail in his coffin was the 5-1 defeat to Bilbao this weekend.

He might just escape total vilification thanks to their 3-1 Spanish Cup final win over Getafe last week, but still - his coaching career finds a new nadir. If he's linked with your club, folks, protest vehemently immediately....!

Zoltan Gera for West Bromwich Albion (vs Wolves), 15 April 2008

Sorry they're so late, but here are this week's predictions:

Arsenal 2-0 Reading
Blackburn 0-1 Man Utd
Fulham 0-1 Liverpool
Middlesbrough 1-1 Bolton
West Ham 2-0 Derby
Wigan 1-1 Tottenham
Aston Villa 2-1 Birmingham
Man City 1-0 Portsmouth
Newcastle 2-2 Sunderland

Bottom of the table wildcards:

Colchester 0-1 Coventry
Nottingham Forest 2-0 Luton
Wrexham 0-1 Notts County
Falkirk 3-0 Gretna

Luis Suarez for Ajax (v FC Groningen), 16 April 2008

This Sunday, as it was twelve months ago, the Dutch Eredivisie title will be decided on the last day of the regular season. After some penultimate week drama (Ajax's away game at Groningen was postponed after a fire broke out in one of the stands before kick-off leading to several fans being hospitalised) and PSV failing to overcome FC Twente at the Philips Stadion, the 34th game of the season will again be decisive.

PSV are the firm favourites as they take a three point lead into the last day, but they face a tricky away tie at Vitesse (where Ajax lost a fortnight ago). Ajax face Heracles at the Amsterdam Arena with a five goal superior goal difference.

If PSV avoid defeat, they'll retain the title, if they lose, it's up to Ajax to win a straightforward home tie.

At the foot of the table, the one automatic relegation place is also a tightly fought contest between VVV and Excelsior. VVV are a point behind Excelsior but have a home fixture against struggling de Graafschaap, whilst Excelsior travel to Heerenveen. I'd personally be sad to see VVV go down, as they've played some good flowing football this season, and in Nordin Amrabat have one of the country's brightest young talents.

come on Ajax! I have no particular affiliation with the Dutch legends, but if they're the Arsenal of the Dutch league, PSV are the Chelsea - amazingly effective but not terribly interesting....

Junior Lewis for Leicester Reserves (v Tottenham Hotspur Reserves), 19 January 2004

Yet more proof that where CUAS lead, others follow.

Compare and contrast Ian's excellent contribution to "J" in the A-Z of Football with this piece from last week's Times.

Dear oh dear. Not just the Guardian nicking our content - now everyone's up to no good!

[thanks to Ian for the link]

Fernando Torres for Liverpool (v Arsenal), 8 April 2008

Hello all (numbers for this escapade seem to be diminishing of late....)

Birmingham 1-1 Everton
Bolton 1-0 West Ham
Derby 0-2 Aston Villa
Portsmouth 2-1 Newcastle
Reading 2-1 Fulham
Sunderland 1-0 Man City
Tottenham 2-0 Middlesbrough
Liverpool 2-0 Blackburn
Man Utd 2-1 Arsenal
Chelsea 2-0 Wigan

and showing at your local multiplex:

In Bruges (Club Bruges 2-1 Cercle Bruges)
Meet the Spartans (Sparta Rotterdam 1-2 Heerenveen)
Leatherheads (Leatherhead Town 1-0 Eastbourne Town)

Bernard Mendy for Paris Saint-Germain (v Racing Club Lens), 29 March 2008

Despite their controversial injury time winner in last weeks French League Cup Final, the once mighty Paris Saint-Germain could be playing in next seasons UEFA Cup whilst languishing in the second tier of French football.

The famous club - one of the founder members of G14 - have had a tough few seasons in the shadow of regular champions Lyon. Despite some experienced management (current manager is Paul le Guen - tipped a few years back as one of the leading young coaches in the European game) and some reasonable quality players (French internationals Bernard Mendy, Peguy Luyindula, Mikael Landreau and Jerome Rothen plus Portuguese striker Pauleta, to name but a few), the past Cup Winners Cup winners have spent most of this season in the bottom half of the table.

Now, with six matches of the season remaining, PSG sit in the relegation zone of le Championnat in 18th position. It's tight down there - four teams sit on 35 points - but PSG have shown no sign in recent weeks of dragging themselves out of their perilous position, culminating in Saturday's 1-0 defeat at AS Nancy.

It's been a difficult year for some of Europe's most famous clubs. Deportivo la Coruna, Spanish champions as recently as 2000 have only recently dragged themselves out of the relegation mire they have been in for most of the season. Valencia - La Liga champions in 2002 and 2004 and Champions League/UEFA Cup finalists this decade - are slipping towards the drop zone at an alarming rate (they are 6 points off the drop with 7 games to go). AZ Alkmaar, pipped to the Eredivisie title last season on a dramatic last day are just safe from relegation. Parma, UEFA Cup winners in 1999 are one off the Serie A drop zone.

Whilst it's likely that these other former giants will live to fight another day, PSG have a mere six matches to save their Championnat status which, on current form, looks less and less likely as each week goes by.

Deivid for Fenerbahce (v Chelsea), 2 April 2008

Well, we're on the predictions home straight. Due to the credit crunch/liquidity squeeze, I have no work to do and thusly and therefore the league tables have been updated! (woot. Something that I have learnt is that over a 3-4 week period, everyone scores roughly the same number of points.)

Arsenal 1-0 Liverpool
Aston Villa 2-0 Bolton
Blackburn 2-1 Tottenham
Fulham 1-0 Sunderland
Man City 0-1 Chelsea
Newcastle 2-1 Reading
Wigan 1-0 Birmingham

Stick a pin in for the the Cup semi-finals (90 minute score)

West Bromwich Albion 1-2 Portsmouth
Barnsley 1-0 Cardiff

and wildcards from the Champions League

Liverpool 0-1 Arsenal
Chelsea 2-0 Fenerbahce

Kyle Lafferty for NEC Bargain Basement (v Gold Coast Warriors), 1 April 2008

My names LB....and I'm an addict.

As I have written about before, I have been a fan of the Championship Manager/Football Manager franchise since, I reckon 1996. I'm a "plug and play" kind of manager - buy and sell, send your team out, hope for the best.

A few weeks ago, having absent mindedly signed up one day to the FM mailing list I was invited to be one of the few hundred participants in the Beta testing process for "Football Manager Live", the logical next progression for the FM series. I said I'd help, and I joined the "gameworld" in early February.

It is *brilliant*.

There are around 500 players worldwide in my particular "world". Whilst similar in look and idea to the offline version, there are clearly some significant differences - mainly of course that instead of playing a computer controlled side you are playing a living, breathing human somewhere in the world.

I'm not much good at it, to be fair. There are still loads of things I don't know about the game and the level of detail available is far more than I care about (I'm not all that bothered where my left back stands when defending a right wing corner, for example). The community aspect of it is brilliant, though - there is a "chat" facility during games and I have made a few online buddies in places as far afield as Holland, Ireland and Slovenia.

Making a few buddies also helps if you need to loan a player for a few days.....!!!

I also like the fact that you have to watch the game develop much more than in the offline version as people tweak their tactics - the whole experience is much more like actually being a manager and having to change formation, instructions etc as the game unfolds. For example, I've now developed two full thorough tactical formations (that took about two hours each to establish) - one which is my favourite and then a really defensive one I switch to if I am ahead with 25 minutes to go.

There have been bugs in the system and there remain some teething troubles but I can see FML being an enormous success when eventually launched. Whilst it is eating up my life like nothing has for years, I'll happily pay the subscription once launched....

Didier Drogba for Chelsea (v Arsenal), 23 March 2008

Hello again (I will update the table soon, honestly I will...)

Birmingham 2-1 Man City
Bolton 0-2 Arsenal
Derby 0-1 Fulham
Man Utd 2-1 Aston Villa
Portsmouth 2-0 Wigan
Reading 1-1 Blackburn
Sunderland 1-0 West Ham
Chelsea 2-0 Middlesbrough
Liverpool 1-0 Everton
Tottenham 2-1 Newcastle

it's the Johnstone's Paint Trophy Final! (well it's a pot. More than Liverpool will win this season)

Grimsby 1-1 MK Dons

Kevin Vandenbergh for FC Utrecht (v AZ Alkmaar), 16 March 2008

So, after our excursions to 's-Hertogenbosch for Friday night's Jupiler League fixture, we had a day of rest (just as well, as we ended up spending it at Eindoven's Maxima Medisch Centrum). Sunday took us back to the Eredivisie and to the pretty central city of Utrecht, Holland's fourth largest.

It was a rotten day, frankly. Persistent rain bounced off the gloomy, ghostlike town centre as we ploughed our way through the deserted shops to the museum quarter. We walked under Utrecht's "Dom tower" (Holland's tallest ) and eventually found the Centraal Museum and, beside it, the Dick Bruna Huis, a colourful and entertaining exhibition of the work of the creator of Miffy and his friends.

Then, back to the city centre, we hopped onto one of the multitude of free buses to the Stadion Galgenwaard.

FC Utrecht are an even newer team than Den Bosch, being founded in 1970 by the merger of three local clubs. They hold the distinction of being the only club outside the "big three" never to have been relegated since its formation in 1970 although in recent years they have been mired in the middle of the Eredivisie - always too good to go down but never a serious challenger for the title.

This season is no exception. Utrecht came into the game on the back of a pretty poor run, despite their 3-1 victory over PSV in their last home game. Opponents AZ, however, are having the season from hell. Having gone into the last match of the 2006/7 season needing a win to be the first club outside the "big three" to win the title since 1980 they lost 3-2 at Excelsior and finished in third place.

This season, they have been a model of inconsistency as their respected manager Louis van Gaal has been unable to capitalise on last seasons success and they have spent the whole campaign in the bottom half of the table (losing top scorer Danny Koevermans to PSV clearly didn't help).

Michel in the ticket office had reserved us good seats ("next to the fanatic side", as he put it) but when we got there, we realised we were in the second row. Great view, but we got absolutely drenched as the stand offered us zero protection from the elements.


AZ had much the better of the first half as Utrecht's 4-5-1 formation failed to penetrate (getting serious for a minute, this system relies heavily on midfield runners supporting the lanky lone striker (amusingly coiffeured Dutch legend Robin Nelisse) but other than tricky winger Leroy George and the superbly monikered youngster Randy Wolters (a career in country and western eschewed to play on the Tiger's right wing) there was precious little support.

So, half time arrived and the match remained goal-less. As I stood in the pouring rain with 21899 others, freezing cold, I began to worry that my weekend excursion was going to result in a goalless debacle (Friday's game ended 0-0). Thankfully, eight minutes into the second half AZ midfielder Barry de Zeuuw rifled a right-foot shot into the top corner and the match came alive. Utrecht, whilst not the strongest collection of individuals have a great team ethic, and talented midfielder Cedric van der Gun nodded in George's corner just after the hour. Substitute Kevin Vandenbergh then slotted Utrecht ahead and it looked like Utrecht's endeavour was going to win them the game. That was until they failed to clear an innocuous corner in injury time and El Hamdaoui rifled in a last-gasp equaliser.

A fair result, I guess. I have to confess to be leased to get out of the Galgenwaard, bearing in mind I have rarely been as soaking wet in my life. Perhaps next time I'll go to some August or September fixtures, eh?

Robbie Keane for Tottenham Hotspur (v Chelsea), 19 March 2008

ah, hello there. Details of a 0-0 draw in front of 4381 in Brabant are here. If that doesn't grab you, I don't know what will.

Aston Villa 2-0 Sunderland
Blackburn 2-1 Wigan
Bolton 0-0 Man City
Everton 2-0 West Ham
Middlesbrough 1-0 Derby
Newcastle 1-0 Fulham
Reading 1-1 Birmingham
Tottenham 2-1 Portsmouth

Ooooh! It's Grand Slam Sunday (four tennis tournaments on the same day? Wow.)

Manchester Utd 1-1 Liverpool
Chelsea 1-0 Arsenal

and some wildcards from next weeks international friendlies

France 2-1 England
Scotland 1-2 Croatia
Spain 1-0 Italy

Stanley Aborah for FC Den Bosch (v MVV), 7 March 2008

As I have mentioned here before, one of the main reasons I continue to line Setanta Sports' pockets to the tune of a tenner a month is that they have excellent coverage of Dutch league football. I say "excellent". To clarify somewhat, their coverage is extensive and fulsome although their commentary is decidedly ropey (one such eejit spent an entire NAC Breda match calling them "Roda" just because they both wear a yellow strip, for example).

Anyway, having seen some Dutch league football before, a return was long overdue and so the wife and I picked a great weekend to go - when Spurs were in town. Thankfully, our trip included a couple of nights in the fine Belgian haven of Antwerp and so we escaped the worse of the North London invasion.

This time, I plumped for a Friday night match from the Dutch Jupiler League - their equivalent of the Championship. A short train ride from our base in Eindhoven took us to the pretty market town of 's-Hertogenbosch and a 158 bus carried us to the de Vliert Stadion on the outskirts of town.

FC Den Bosch are not that famous a club. Their previous incarnation, BVV, won the League in 1947 but since they became Den Bosch in 1965, the odd promotion to the big time has been the limit of their success. Oh, and the odd big player passing through onto bigger and better things (one Rutgerus van Nistelrooy figured for a short spell).

This was a top of the table clash though - third place FC Zwolle were the visitors with fourth place Den Bosch looking to avenge their 4-1 thrashing in the reverse fixture earlier in the season.

After a trip to see Marion in the friendly fanshop (they only had away shirts in anything approaching an adult mens size, but for your €25 they did throw in an authentic pair of away shorts also) we bought our tickets (a reasonable €13) and headed for the bar.

Well, I say "bar". The reality was that the function facility for the home faithful was a small Portakabin at the back of an untended grassy bank containing a couple of lavvies, a beer keg and some faded pictures of bygone glory days. It also contained any number of dubiously aged kids sloshing Bavaria to no-one's concern and some of the worst sweatsuits this side of a Sports Direct firesale.

Anyway, 8 o'clock duly arrived and to far to grand a fanfare we got started.

To be fair, there's not much to write. The away support was (like every Dutch game I have ever seen) pretty pitiful, although the large minibus load that turned up did their best to make themselves heard. Den Bosch fielded a stray Irishman named Barry Maguire who, despite being tidy enough, I couldn't help think had missed out by a different vowel and a different consonant on being the best monikered footballer in the world game. "Help me, help you!" (etc).

Zwolle's shirts were also by some distance the busiest I have seen for a while - no room for the players names you'll notice as there's more than enough going on with the sponsors...

All time Macedonian international goalscorer Georgi Hristov (famous only in the UK for claiming all the women in Barnsley were "dogs") showed why he has found his level in European football (over 200 games for Den Bosch) by turning in a mediocre performance and missing the home side's best chance from open play. Their best chance of the night though came when a dubious first half penalty award gave Koen van der Biezen the opportunity to dribble the worst penalty I have ever seen in the flesh miles wide of the keeper's right hand post. I have also never heard such an uncharitable cheer when a player is substituted as greeted the sign of the number 19 trudging disconsolately towards the dugout.

The home fans - a total of 4381 of us braved the match - were loud enough albeit in a tuneless and slightly gruff way. It consisted of not so much singing as neanderthal grunting for most of the game, although I do appreciate that "you're going home in an apostrophe S hyphen Hertogenbosch ambulance" doesn't scan all that successfully.

Still, everyone happy with a point (actually, no. No-one happy with a point) and off we headed back into the dark of a brisk Brabant night all the richer for seeing the genius of Nyron Wau in action.

Adebayo Akinfenwa for Northampton Town (vs Walsall), 8 March 2008

Whilst LB takes in a bit of Miffy and a touch of football, it's predictions time again folks.

Arsenal 2-0 Boro
Derby 0-2 Man United
Liverpool 2-0 Reading
Portsmouth 1-0 Villa
Sunderland 0-2 Chelsea
West Ham 1-1 Blackburn
Fulham 0-1 Everton
Man City 0-1 Spurs
Wigan 2-1 Bolton
Birmingham 1-0 Newcastle

Wildcards.... oh, go on then, I'll resist the lure of the rugby....

Places I've lived (in order, and all playing at home):

Northampton 0-1 Swansea
Milton Keynes Dons 2-0 Dag & Red
Rugby Town 1-0 Mangotsfield United
Coventry 1-0 Sheff Wed
York City 0-1 Torquay
Nottm Forest 1-1 Walsall

Right then!

Arturo ten Heuvel for FC Den Bosch (v BV Veendam), 10 March 2008

I like a foreign football excursion and since last years trip to Hertha Berlin, I haven't had a chance.

So, this weekend (timed amazingly badly to coincide with a Spurs away match), the missus and I are off to Holland and Belgium for a long weekend.

Friday night we'll be at the de Vliert stadium in s'Hertogenbosch to see FC Den Bosch v FC Zwolle in the Dutch equivalent of the Championship. How can you not love a team sponsored by BrainWash? Plus, fact fans, Georgi Hristov plays for them (remember him? Played for Barnsley in the Premier League?)

In my mission to visit every ground in the Eredivisie (Feyenoord in the past and NEC, Ajax and PSV last time out) we're going to FC Utrecht on Sunday to see them play struggling AZ Alkmaar.

Robin Nelisse has great hair. Not the best reason, clearly....

Amongst that lot there's a stop in Antwerp for a couple of nights (shame I couldn't take in a Royal Antwerp match considering they are United's Belgian feeder club - John O'Shea is a legend there, apparently). Still, waffles, moules, De Koninck - how wrong can you go?

I am also reliably informed that our day out in Utrecht in Sunday will also include some Miffy
- Utrecht's most famous export.



Looking at the iconic rabbit, I can't help thinking that FC Utrecht's shirts would benefit from some Miffy action?

Maybe I do need a holiday.

*lies down*

Brian Howard for Barnsley (v Liverpool), 16 February 2008

I'll try and get my missus to watch some more footie over the weekend whilst only half listening....

It's a right motley selection this week from all over the show (blame the Cup)

Blackburn 2-0 Fulhan
Liverpool 2-0 Newcastle
Reading 1-0 Man City
Sunderland 1-1 Everton
Tottenham 2-1 West Ham
Wigan 1-3 Arsenal

Barnsley 0-2 Chelsea
Man United 2-0 Portsmouth
Bristol Rovers 1-1 West Brom
Middlesbrough 1-0 Cardiff City

and it's first versus second on the continent:

PSV 2-1 Ajax
Lyon 2-1 Bordeaux

Michael Chopra for Sunderland (v Tottenham Hotspur), 11 August 2007

Part 2 in a short series of "footballers names my wife has misheard during commentary".

This week: Derby v Sunderland.

"Did he just say that guy's name was Shopfront?"

James McFadden for Birmingham City (v Arsenal), 23 February 2008

Well, that tackle on Eduardo has opened up a bit of a debate, hasn't it....?

Arsenal 2-1 Aston Villa
Birmingham 1-1 Tottenham
Derby 1-1 Sunderland
Fulham 1-3 Man Utd
Man City 2-0 Wigan
Middlesbrough 2-0 Reading
Newcastle 1-2 Blackburn
West Ham 1-1 Chelsea
Bolton 0-1 Liverpool
Everton 2-0 Portsmouth

None of that daft rugby this week! Instead, we'll go to the rock bottom of the leagues....

Scunthorpe 1-0 Coventry
Port Vale 1-2 Oldham
Wrexham 1-2 Mansfield

Eduardo Da Silva for Arsenal (vs Manchester City), 2nd February 2008

The injury suffered by Eduardo Da Silva in the early stages of Saturday's game against Birmingham was one of those that makes almost everyone cringe in horror. The first person to react, of course, is the injured player, but pretty soon you can tell from the reactions of the other players on the pitch that something serious has happened: the frantic gestures to the sidelines, the looks of horror and, perhaps most telling of all, the looks away as the other players simply couldn't look at something so sickening. For most English football fans of a certain age, it was also the kind of injury that immediately turns the mind back to David Buust against Manchester United back in April 1996.... an injury so horrible that someone as big and tough as Peter Schmeichel was sickened and unable to look; an injury so bad that they had to delay the restart of the game whilst they mopped up the blood in the penalty area.

David Buust needed 26 operations on that injury, and never played again (although that was as much down to the MRSA infection that destroyed much of the tissue in his ankle as it was down to the original injury). Thank heavens it looks as though Eduardo has been "lucky" and is expected to be playing again in about 9 months - a far more optimistic prognosis than everyone was fearing on Saturday, although I should imagine it will be some time before the player himself considers that he has been "lucky".

Buust writes in the Guardian today about his injury and what Eduardo may face before he can think about kicking a ball again. It's an interesting article, but what's really interesting is the comments of the bloggers in response. Perhaps not surprisingly, the almost overwhelming view is one that backs Arsene Wenger's immediate reaction after the game (and subsequently retracted) that Martin Taylor should be severely punished for the tackle and should perhaps never be allowed to play the game again.

My heart goes out to Eduardo, of course it does, and I hope he has a full and rapid recovery from his injury, but this kind of overreaction seems ridiculous to me, and my immediate reaction to such a response is to actually feel sorry for Martin Taylor. Alex McLeish repeatedly said after the game that Taylor was not a malicious kind of a player, and although this isn't exactly a defence for such a horrible tackle, watching the game, I didn't feel as though there was any more malice of intent in that tackle than in hundreds of others that take place in the Premier League every week (Eduardo himself was lucky not to be sent off for a two-footed lunge at Nani in the game against Manchester Utd). Taylor goes in for the ball and Eduardo is simply too quick for him, moving the ball away just before the tackle comes in. It's clumsy and it's high, but it is not two footed and Taylor has his eye on the ball all the way. So how come he is being compared by one blogger in that thread to one of the terrorists on 9/11?

Taylor was said to be devastated after it became clear that Eduardo was seriously hurt, to the extent that McLeish suggested that if he hadn't been sent off, he wasn't sure he would have been able to continue playing. He tried to see Eduardo in hospital but was turned away as he was in surgery, and he subsequently returned and spoke to him the next day. Just because he didn't take the press with him to these visits does not mean that he does not care. Eduardo himself was incredibly phlegmatic, refusing to blame Taylor and suggesting that "It was an unfortunate situation but these things can happen in football."

Clearly Taylor was responsible for the injury, but how much blame should be attributed to him now? Should he be punished? Should he even have been shown a red card? Was the colour of the card in fact determined by the obvious severity of the injury?

I'd love to know what you think.

[incidentally, there are plenty of pictures of the actual aftermath of the tackle itself on the web, but I think we all know what happened and I'm not going to post any. If you want to see pictures of another human being in distress, then you can find them for yourself]

Benjani Mwaruwari for Manchester City (vs Manchester United), 10 Feb 2008

Predictions time again folks.

Birmingham 0-2 Arsenal
Fulham 1-1 West Ham
Liverpool 2-0 Middlesbrough
Newcastle 0-1 Man Utd
Portsmouth 2-0 Sunderland
Wigan 1-0 Derby
Blackburn 2-2 Bolton
Reading 0-1 Aston Villa

Wildcards from the 6 nations - winner and margin of victory please!

Wales v Italy --> Wales by 12 points
Ireland v Scotland --> Ireland by 7 points
France v England --> England by 1 point (I can dream, right?)

yeah, yeah... it's a football site, I know. Bite me.

Nani for Manchester United (v Arsenal), 16 February 2008

So, then. If you are walloping your current biggest rivals 4-0 having battled and played them off the park, and you are a talented international footballer you are now not allowed to showcase your skills as it might be considered humiliating to the opposition?

Somebody better tell Ronaldinho he can't nutmeg an opponent any more, or tell Kaka he can't leave a defender on their arse.

Honestly. Surely the whole point of competitive sport is to humiliate the opposition?

Discuss.

Ze Roberto for Bayern Munich (v Werder Bremen), 10 February 2008

It's FA Cup time again. Woot (etc).

Bristol Rovers 1-1 Southampton
Cardiff 2-1 Wolverhampton Wanderers
Chelsea 2-0 Huddersfield Town
Coventry City 1-2 West Bromwich Albion
Liverpool 3-0 Barnsley
Man Utd 1-0 Arsenal
Preston 1-1 Portsmouth
Sheff Utd 2-1 Middlesbrough

and wildcards from the Bundesliga

Hansa Rostock 1-1 Eintracht Frankfurt
Hertha Berlin 2-1 Arminia Bielefeld
Hamburg 2-0 Bochum

Jermaine Jenas for England (v Switzerland), 6 February 2008

I have to say that my personal highlight of the England match the other night happened an hour before kick-off when the Sky News ticker revealed the home side's starting line up for the game.

"....England team to play Switzerland: James...Brown...."

Michael Owen for Newcastle (vs Middlesbrough), 3rd February 2008

Sorry they're a bit late, but hopefully you've all still got enough time to have a stab at this lot.

Predictions time....

Aston Villa 2-0 Newcastle
Bolton 1-1 Portsmouth
Derby 0-2 Tottenham
Everton 1-0 Reading
Middlesbrough 1-1 Fulham
Sunderland 1-0 Wigan
West Ham 2-1 Birmingham
Chelsea 2-0 Liverpool
Man Utd 3-1 Man City

Wildcards - some Wanderers....

Wolves 2-1 Stoke (Football league, championship)
Wycombe 3-0 Mansfield (Football League, division 2)
Lisnafillan Swifts 1-0 Shore Wanderers (Ballymena SM League, division 3)

Dennis Viollet for Manchester United (v Red Star Belgrade), 5 February 1958

Exactly fifty years ago today, a British European Airways "Elizabethan" class airliner stopped to refuel at Munich's Riem airport. At 14.19 hours Captain James Thain was given permission clearance for take-off, and at 14.30 hours the plane was on the move. Forty seconds later, it was at a halt after pilot Captain Ken Rayment abandoned the take-off.

At 14.34 hours, clearance for take-off was given for a second time and forty seconds later the plane was at a halt again. The Elizabethan was guided back to the airport buildings and the passengers informed there had been a "technical fault". Discussions with the station engineer took place and procedures to counter the problems with the engines "boost surging" were provided.

At 14.56 hours, Captain Rayment requested permission to taxi to the runway and at six seconds past 15.03 hours, the plane was rolling.

According to the official record: "The last message from 609 Zulu Uniform starts with a howling, whistling noise and ends with a loud background noise after the message was broken off".

Due to the quantity of slush on the runway (a cause that it took the pilot eleven years to prove) the aircraft failed to take off. The Elizabethan crashed through a fence and crossed a road before the port wing hit a house. The wing and tail were torn off and the house caught fire. The starboard side of the fuselage hit a wooden hut where there was a truck filled with tyres and fuel.

It was 15.04 hours, 6th February 1958.

Twenty-three of the Elizabethan's forty-four passengers died as a result of the crash. Amongst them were eight journalists (including former Manchester City and England goalkeeper Frank Swift), two crew members, a travel agent and a supporter. Three of the Manchester United club staff were killed - secretary Walter Crickmer, trainer Tom Curry and coach Bert Whalley.

The Munich Air Disaster, as it has become known, also claimed the lives of eight of the "Busby Babes". Geoffrey Bent, Eddie Colman and Mark Jones made 224 United league appearances between them. Roger Byrne, David Pegg and Tommy Taylor were full England internationals with a total of 53 caps. Liam "Billy" Whelan won four caps as a full Republic of Ireland international. Most famously, I suppose, was the loss of Duncan Edwards, generally regarded by those who saw him as the best England footballer of all time. Edwards won 18 England caps.

Two further internationals - Northern Ireland's Jackie Blanchflower and England's Johnny Berry suffered injuries which prevented them from playing football again.

The football world of 1958 was a different place to today. There were no deep-seated club rivalries in those days, no hatred of opponents or players. United in those days were respected for their brand of expansive, attacking football ("get them off their seats", Busby used to tell them) and so the loss of nearly a whole XI of both club and international players devastated not only the city, but also the football community as a whole.

The Munich disaster happened a decade and a half before my birth. I've never seen these players in action, save for titbits of video footage and I only have recollections from their peers as to their talents and character. However, Munich is interwoven into the fabric of the club I have followed since I was born a mile from where I used to stand in the late 80s.
Saying that, my mother and I have been trying to donate an item of Munich "history" to the Manchester United museum for over a decade now and the club to no avail. After the disaster, the surgeons and medical staff from the Rechts der Isar Hospital in Munich were invited to a civic reception at Stretford Town Hall to thank them for their efforts. My grandmother was working at the Town Hall in 1958 and has an invitation to the event signed by the German medical staff. I have twice approached the club to offer this half century old item for loan and display in the museum but both times the club have shown absolutely no interest. I have to admit to finding that slightly odd, especially in light of the huge lengths the Club have gone to in recent months to organise a carefully planned series of commemorations this week. Perhaps I should offer again whilst sentiment is high...

Since Princess Diana's premature death, the British desire to be involved in the grief of others has resulted in a macabre outbreak of what others have termed "mourning sickness". Whilst I find this somewhat disturbing, even discounting the fact that this tragedy happened to "my club" I think that a commemoration of a day that affected everyone within football is appropriate. I sincerely hope that tribal rivalries can be put aside for one day to respect not only the players who perished, but also the countless others whose lives were taken or irreperably affected by this dreadful event.