Friday, July 31, 2009

Bobby Robson for England (v France), 27 November 1957

One of the most upsetting things about growing older is that people who you have spent your whole life admiring, respecting or loving start to die. When you're a kid, the deaths of people don't effect you quite so much as your little brain can't cope with the emotion and you haven't had long enough to get to know the person involved. In my mid-thirties, I find now that the deaths of both people I know and celebrities who provide the backdrop to my childhood and adult life hit me much harder.

Never has this been truer than when I heard the devastating news this morning that England legend Sir Bobby Robson had lost his battle with cancer. He was 76. Robson never managed a club I supported (with the exception of Barcelona for whom I have a soft spot for family reasons), and I never had the pleasure of meeting the man. What he did do however was provide the wallpaper for my entire life as a football fan from my early teenage years.

For many people my age the World Cup in Italy in 1990 is one of their defining football memories. In the days before football was on our televisions twenty four hours a day we all crowded around our sets at World Cup time to watch the magic of the world's best footballers - these exotic players who we only ever got to see once every four years or so. Italia 90 was no exception. The hairs on the back of your neck standing up when Nessun Dorma started playing on the television, Des Lynam's consummate professionalism and the hope, as ever, that it might *just* be England's time.

Bobby Robson was holding onto the England job by the skin of his teeth in 1990, lest we forget. A terrible Euro 88 nearly cost the Geordie his job as England boss but as the squad arrived in Italy with such talent as Barnes, Lineker, Beardsley, Waddle and, of course, Gascoigne there was hope (if not expectation) that England would perform.

Italia 90 provides to this day some of the most iconic images of my football life. Rijkaard and Voller's spat, Schillaci's eyes bulging from his head and the tears of England's number 19. That tournament also endeared Bobby Robson to the English public, an affection which he would never, ever wane. His fist pumping encouragement to his England side is seared into my memory, as is his "one man conga" down the touchline as David Platt's volley hit the back of the Belgian net.

For the thickness of a goalpost and a couple of miscued penalties Robson could be spoken of in the same breath as Sir Alf Ramsey. Still, England came as close to winning the World Cup in 1990 as we ever will in my lifetime and Robson was a national hero.

Lest we forget his achievements as a manager, they are considerable. The FA Cup and UEFA Cup with Ipswich Town. Two Eredivisie Championships with PSV Eindhoven in 1991 and 1992. The Portuguese Cup and Championship between 1994 and 1996. The Copa del Rey and European Cup Winners Cup with a Ronaldo inspired Barcelona in 1997. He also guided Newcastle United to a third place finish in the Premier League, famously winning his first home game in charge 8-0.

As well as the iconic images from the World Cup in 1990, my abiding memory of Robson will be his humility and tears on the presentation of the BBC Sports Personality "Lifetime Achievement" award in 2007. He was clearly and visibly moved by the presentation by Sir Alex Ferguson, the appearance of many of his players and peers and also the presence of his wife Elsie who survives him.

Sir Bobby Robson was, quite simply, one of the finest English managers of all time and one of the nicest men in football. He will be sorely missed.

Thursday, July 23, 2009

John Thompson for Notts County (vs Wycombe Wanderers), 2nd May 2009


In something of a reversal of the plot of "Mike Bassett: England Manager", where the manager of a lower league club is made the manager of the national team, Sven Goran Eriksson, the former manager of the English national team, has just taken up the reigns at Notts County, a team in the fourth tier of English football.

You couldn't make it up. Truth really is sometimes even stranger than fiction.

Sven is apparently keen to move up to the Nottingham area, and just in case people aren't familiar with Nottingham, the Sun was quickly on hand with the key information:

"SVEN will find it hard NOT to score in Nottingham - rated by a dating website as one of Britain's best places to find eligible totty. But he faces tough competition as its reputation has also turned it into the country's top destination for stag parties. If he's on form, Sven could maybe bag a beauty like actress Samantha Morton, who hails from the city.

Nottingham girls are famously pretty - with many descended from those drawn from far and wide to work in its historic lace industry. For post-match fun, Sven will find the nightclubs very raunchy but a far cry from many of London's celeb-infested haunts. A good place to start is the city centre venue Rock City, which has two-for-one drinks every Thursday. Then there's Tantra, which supplies romantic revellers with vast beds to lounge on. Back of the net! For an added bonus, Nottingham is groaning under the weight of student totty - mainly because its universities offer some of the country's best nursing courses. As for the boozers, the nearest to Notts County's 20,000-capacity Meadow Lane is The Globe. It serves a cracking pie and pint, but isn't famed for its lady folk. Not to worry, Sven. A ten-minute walk from the ground takes you to Hooters, a bar and grill staffed by scantily-clad girls. Sven, who's partial to a cocktail and sushi, is more likely to be offered a pint of Rock Bitter or Rock Mild made at the famous Nottingham Brewery.

Locals often down it with a large bread roll called a cob.

The ever-sartorial Swede will be pleased to know top designer Paul Smith is from Nottingham, and has his flagship store there."

Pretty girls, Hooters, Paul Smith and cobs. It's all you really need to know, isn't it?

Sheesh. "....a large bread roll called a cob"??? Where exactly do they think Nottingham is? Abroad?

The Mirror, meanwhile, focuses the full forensic power of their expert analysis on telling their readers "Why Sven Goran Erikkson would be awful at Championship Manager and why Notts Country are doomed". Apparently Ferguson, Wenger, Pulis and Hughes would be pretty good, Redknapp and Allardyce would be brilliant but they have their doubts about the likes of Ancelotti and Benitez. Sven, they reckon, would stink at the game. Quite what that has to do with anything remains unclear. Perhaps he's really good at Sonic the Hedgehog? That's probably got just as much in common with actually running a real life football club as Championship Manager.....

As you might expect, the Guardian manages to assume a vastly more sophisticated tone in their coverage, and inform and entertain their readers with a list of all the things Sven needs to know about his new club. A list that includes such vital information as this:

"The definitive supporters' song is called I Had a Wheelbarrow. It goes: "I had a wheelbarrow, the wheel fell off/I had a wheelbarrow, the wheel fell off", to the tune of On Top of Old Smokey. Nobody really knows why."

Perhaps they reckon that a more educated, liberal, middle-class readership will already be well aware of what a cob is?

Oh, and Hooters is not a ten minute walk away from the ground. It's much nearer than that. And all you can eat chicken wings is only £6.99 per person all day on a Monday, so it's great value. Half price ribs on a Wednesday too, and kids eat free on a Sunday....

[I originally published this elsewhere, but then remembered that I also contribute to a football blog, so please excuse the repost....]

Thursday, June 25, 2009

Lee Croft for Norwich City (v Ipswich Town), 7 December 2008

The BBC today report that ex-Norwich winger Lee Croft is to join Derby County. A pretty run-of-the-mill football story, as they go.

What concerns me though is the picture of Croft that the BBC have used on their site.











Is it me, or is the poor fella about to be attacked by the biggest flying insect Norwich has ever seen?

Sunday, June 21, 2009

Darren Gibson for Manchester United (v Hull City), 24 May 2009

The Cheer Up Alan Shearer Predictions League

S, another season over and the fourth season of CUAS Predictions is complete. After wins for me in season 1, the title has finally been wrestled from Shane (winner in seasons 2 and 3). An excellent performance by Swiss Toni sees him take the title this season with 253 points. I was 15 points back in second, with Skif an excellent third, Andy a creditable fourth and the previous undisputed champion way back in 5th place.....

Weenie was 6th (a bonus 15 points for correctly predictiong the bottom three helped, there!).

Thanks again to everyone for playing, and we'll start the whole silly endeavour again in August.

Friday, June 12, 2009

Lasith Malinga for Sri Lanka (v West Indies), 10 June 2009

Due to my impending redundancy I spent a very relaxed and "bugger the work!" afternoon at Trent Bridge on Wednesday thanks to the generosity of a friend of mine who gave me a ticket.

I know this isn't even slightly football related, but can someone please explain to me how Lasith Malinga gets away with it?

Tuesday, June 02, 2009

Lionel Messi for Barcelona (v Manchester Utd), 27 May 2009

End of Season Loose Ends Rambling, Innit

1. Champions League

Were Manchester United beaten by a much better team on the night? Undoubtedly. Are Barcelona the best club side in the world, ever? No. The reality is somewhere in between - United could have defended better but Barcelona fully deserved their win, and are, I think, a popular winner of the tournament. I was also particularly encouraged by the magnanimity shown by Sir Alex after the match - not always apparent in the past.

2. Carlo Ancelotti

And Chelsea were oaning about their pragmatic, organised football under Mourinho. Chelsea fans - be prepared for your team to be extremely effective but you be bored shitless for his tenure.

3. Liverpool

That their chance to win the league gone. do you think?

4. Newcastle Utd

Dear oh dear. What a mess, there. At least 45 minutes against Aston Villa where they didn't seem to give a flying toss whether they were relagted or not rather sums it up for me. Bixzarrely, they were probably a better side than Hull but the Tigers victory at St James' ultimately decisive, I suppose.

Owen? sigh. What's going to happen there? Celtic? A decent job for a mid-table Premiership side? Abroad to salvage his career? Who knows?

Clearout, sign good Championship players and they'll make the play-offs next season. No demise of Leeds-esque proportions for the Magpies, methinks.

5. Transfers

It's started already, hasn't it? I used to love the good old days when you got home and realised your team had signed a great player and it came like a bolt out of the blue. Now, Sky Skorts News and the Sun fill their content with endless transfer speculation until you're so desperate to make it all stop that by the time Frank Ribery signs for your club you'll be so pissed off with the whole endeavour that you won't care two hoots.

Predictions results imminent, and I am thinking of posting a weekly quiz of some sort. Woot. Hold the front page....

Tuesday, May 26, 2009

Grafite for Wolfsburg (v Werder Bremen), 23 May 2009


In a season of unusual league winners (Finland, Norway, Sweden, Russia getting "first" league winners, AZ winning in Holland) we can add another to the list as unfancied Wolfsburg took their first ever Bundesliga title on Saturday after a 5-1 demolition of Werder Bremen. Winning an unprecedented 14 out of their 17 games after the winter break, Felix Magath's side (although it is no longer Felix Magath's side as he's off to Schalke) take the title for the first time in their 64 year history.
Bayern Munich were second and take a Champions League spot and Stuttgart finished third (they go into the Champions League quaklifying round). Hertha were a very creditable fourth and Hamburg finished fifth.
Armenia Bielefeld and Karksruhe are relegated, whilst Cottbus play Nurnberg to decide the final promotion/relegation place.

Friday, May 22, 2009

Michael Owen for England (v Argentina), 30 June 1998

Predictions are here.

"....it is certainly true that in recent years he has never been quite able to keep a note of polite peevishness out of his voice. So that most of the time he sounds like a junior executive complaining to the receptionist at his conference hotel that the provision of UHT milk cartons with the in-room tea and coffee making facilities is wholly inadequate."

Harry Pearson bemoans the declining career of ex-BBC Sports Personality of the Year Michael Owen.

Thursday, May 21, 2009

Craig Fagan for Hull City (v Bolton Wanderers), 16 May 2009

So, here we go. The final predictions for the 2008/9 season...

I just have a sneaking suspicion that Newcastle are going to fluke their way out of the bottom three. A draw whilst Hull lose, perhaps...?

Arsenal 2-0 Stoke
Aston Villa 1-1 Newcastle
Blackburn 2-1 West Brom
Fulham 1-1 Everton
Hull 0-1 Man Utd
Liverpool 2-0 Tottenham
Man City 2-0 Bolton
Sunderland 0-2 Chelsea
West Ham 1-1 Middlesbrough
Wigan 1-1 Portsmouth

and wildcards from the European Cup Final

Barcelona 2-1 Manchester United
First goalscorer: Eto'o (Barcelona)
First booking: Evra (Manchester Utd)

Monday, May 18, 2009

Diomansy Kamara for Fulham (v Newcastle United), 16 May 2009

Newcastle's defeat to Fulham on Saturday pushes them back into the bottom three and therefore requires the result of the Hull City v Manchester United game to go their way next weekend.

I can't help thinking that this leaves Sir Alex in a bit of a predicament. Having sewn up the title with a listless display against Arsenal on Saturday lunchtime, and with a Champions League final four days after the Hull game you could hardly blame Ferguson for leaving out his "star" names and sending a reserve team out against the Tigers.

The problem here is that the age old issue about "the integrity of the league" rears its head. Can you imagine the storm that would develop if Ferguson sent out a team made up of fringe and reserve players who were duly dispatched by Hull therefore sending Newcastle to the Championship? (admittedly, this scenario involves Hull beating any team Ferguson chooses to send out which, in their form, is pretty unlikely).

The other factor of course is that Shearer famously turned down Sir Alex on a couple of occasions, and so there is not much love lost between either Ferguson and Shearer or, let's be fair, the United faithful and the Toon manager.

Early reports suggest Ferguson is likely to leave out some of the bigger names players for the game (Rooney and Ronaldo have been mentioned) and I very much doubt he'd send out his under 15 team simply to send Newcastle down. If the Geordies lose to Aston Villa, it will of course all be irrelevant. If they don't, though, Ferguson's team selection will come under the most intense scrutiny and any sense that he sent out a considerably weakened side will incur the ire of every Newcastle fan for years to come.

Thursday, May 14, 2009

Michael Carrick for Manchester United (v Wigan Athletic), 13 May 2009

OK, in the home straight....

Bolton 1-0 Hull
Everton 2-1 West Ham
Man Utd 1-1 Arsenal
Middlesbrough 1-0 Aston Villa
Newcastle 1-2 Fulham
Stoke 0-0 Wigan
Tottenham 2-1 Man City
West Brom 2-4 Liverpool
Chelsea 2-0 Blackburn
Portsmouth 2-1 Sunderland

and wildcards from the Bundesliga again (my, it is close....)

Hannover 1-1 Wolfsburg
TSG Hoffenheim 0-2 Bayern Munich
Hertha Berlin 2-1 Schalke

Tuesday, May 12, 2009

Carlos Tevez for Manchester Utd (v Manchester City), 10 May 2009

"....Meanwhile the club's Argentine star Carlos Tevez has signalled his desire to leave at the end of the season. Ferguson has restricted Tevez's appearances in recent months, claiming that whenever he sees him charging down the wing, "it's like one of those dirty great Orcs from Lord of the Rings coming at you in 3D"....."

The Daily Mash gets to grips with the Carlos Tevez transfer story in the way only they can.

Monday, May 11, 2009

Eduardo for Guingamp (v Rennes), 9 May 2009

A couple of small "end of season" updates.

French Ligue 2 side Guingamp became only the second non-top flight club to win the French Cup on Saturday (and the first for 50 years) when they came from 1-0 down to beat Stade Rennes 2-1 in front of a sell-out 80,000 crowd at the Stade de France.

Ex Fulham defender Carlos Bocanegra gave Rennes the lead in the 69th minute but two strikes from Brazilian frontman Eduardo in the 72nd and 83rd minutes gave the minnows a famous win and a place in next season's Europa League.

(in Ligue 1 it looks increasingly likely that Lyon will finally lose their seven year grip on the league title - they are seven points behind joint leaders Marseille and Bordeaux with four games to play).

In the heady non-league heights of the Unibond Premier League, FC United of Manchester found the level of competition harder than in previous seasons. Entering the final day of the campaign knowing that a win would secure a play-off berth, the Reds only managed a 1-1 draw with Bradford Park Avenue in front of nearly 4,000 at Gigg Lane and so agonisingly finished one place outside the play-off positions. Eastwood Town were promoted as champions and will be joined in the Blue Square North next season by Ilkeston Town who beat Nantwich 2-1 in the play-off final.

Thursday, May 07, 2009

Andres Iniesta for Barcelona (v Chelsea), 6 May 2009

Hello. Predictions time again....

Blackburn 2-1 Portsmouth
Bolton 1-0 Sunderland
Everton 2-1 Tottenham
Fulham 1-1 Aston Villa
Hull 1-0 Stoke
West Brom 2-1 Wigan
West Ham 0-1 Liverpool
Arsenal 1-2 Chelsea
Manchester Utd 2-0 Manchester City
Newcastle 1-1 Middlesbrough

Wildcards from the Football League play-offs:

Burnley 2-1 Reading
Bury 1-1 Shrewsbury
Sheff Utd 2-0 Preston

Thursday, April 30, 2009

John O'Shea for Manchester United (v Arsenal), 29 April 2009

I have updated the predictions table so entering the final straight it's still up for grabs (considering there are 15 bonus points on offer for correctly predicting who will be relegated from the Premier League). For reference, your guesses were:

ST: West Brom, Newcastle, Stoke
LB: West Brom, Middlesbrough, Stoke
Andy: West Brom, Portsmouth, Stoke
Shane: West Brom, Middlesbrough, Stoke
Skif: West Brom, Stoke, Newcastle
Weenie: West Brom, Middlesbrough, Newcastle

(looks like Weenie might be the only one to score a full bonus haul, there!)

Chelsea 2-0 Fulham
Man City 2-1 Blackburn
Middlesbrough 0-1 Man Utd
Portsmouth 1-1 Arsenal
Stoke 1-0 West Ham
Tottenham 2-1 West Brom
Wigan 1-0 Bolton
Liverpool 2-0 Newcastle
Sunderland 0-1 Everton
Aston Villa 2-1 Hull City

and who's going up and down from the Championship?

Charlton 2-1 Norwich City
Crystal Palace 1-1 Sheffield Utd
Plymouth 1-0 Barnsley
Reading 2-0 Birmingham

Wednesday, April 29, 2009

Luka Modric for Tottenham Hotspur (v Manchester United), 25 April 2009


Footballers names Mrs LB has misheard during commentary: Part 4.
"...did he just say his name was Moderate"?

Monday, April 27, 2009

Danny Wallace for Southampton (v Liverpool), 16 March 1984

It's MS Week from 27th April to 3rd May. It's an opportunity to try and raise awareness about a condition that affects some 85,000 people in this country and about which there are many misconceptions.

Multiple Sclerosis can affect anyone, and international standard footballers are no different in this respect to distinctly average 5-a-side trundlers like me. One player affected will be familiar to many football fans of a certain age, and he is one who had his career at the highest level cruelly cut short by this presently incurable condition: Danny Wallace:



Danny's Story

Danny was in his 20’s and at the top of his game playing professional football for Manchester United when he first starting experiencing symptoms that would eventually lead to a diagnosis of MS.

He was unable to bounce back from injury and was spending an increasing amount of time in the treatment rooms.

“At first I thought it was the usual injuries that all professional footballers got, but after a while things didn’t seem right,” he explains.

The turning point for Danny was in 1993 when he signed for Birmingham City. He began to feel pins and needles in his legs and feet and would feel incredibly tired after games. It was the smaller symptoms of the condition that had a major effect on his every day life.

“I would get frustrated that my feet were numb or I had pins and needles in my legs, I just wanted to play football. I couldn’t understand what the problem was.”

After deciding to retire from professional football in 1995, Danny went to speak to a financial advisor about his pension. He was sent for medical tests which diagnosed him with having multiple sclerosis - a condition of the central nervous system which causes the body’s immune system to attack myelin, a substance surrounding nerve fibres, causing confusion and delay in messages from the brain and spine.

MS can cause a variety of symptoms including loss of balance and mobility, extreme fatigue, depression and mood swings. There is currently no cure and few effective treatments, but with the right support and information people can continue their lives.

Now, almost 12 years since his diagnosis, Danny, age 45, has stepped forward to be one of the faces in the MS Society’s new campaign to raise awareness of the condition.

“Since being diagnosed I’ve spent much of my time raising money for others affected by MS and I was happy to take part in the campaign. It’s important to help others understand what the condition is,” he said.

“When I was first diagnosed I kept my condition quiet and only told close family and friends. I found it embarrassing and I couldn’t come to terms with it. Five years after my diagnosis I was able to come out and tell people.”

Unfortunately for Danny, his MS stopped his career as a professional footballer reaching its full potential.

“I would have definitely got more opportunities had I been fit while I was at Manchester United – I couldn’t play as many games as I wanted to and that had a negative affect on my career for sure.”

Now Danny is retired he helps raise money and awareness for MS, along with looking after the family home and his children. His symptoms include fatigue, pins and needles in his legs, problems with walking and regular back spasms, especially in the morning.

“I take regular medication, which helps, but walking is always a problem. I’ve even been out with friends in a social situation and people have presumed I was drunk. I might have had a few drinks but I certainly wasn’t drunk. It made me feel disappointed in people – that they could just presume that that’s the case, but I suppose they weren’t to know.”

MS Week 27 April - 3 May
---

Apologies for hijacking CUAS for this public service broadcast. Normal service can now be resumed.

Thursday, April 23, 2009

Andrei Arshavin for Arsenal (v Liverpool), 21 April 2009

Hello all. Yes, it is that time again.

Bolton 1-1 Aston Villa
Everton 2-0 Man City
Fulham 1-0 Stoke
Hull 0-2 Liverpool
Man Utd 1-0 Tottenham
West Brom 2-1 Sunderland
West Ham 0-2 Chelsea
Arsenal 2-0 Middlesbrough
Blackburn 2-1 Wigan
Newcastle 1-1 Portsmouth

and wildcards from the Champions League semi-finals

Barcelona 2-1 Chelsea
Manchester United 1-1 Arsenal

Monday, April 20, 2009

Mounir El Hamdaoui for AZ Alkmaar (v Vitesse Arnhem), 18 April 2009


A huge congratulations today to Louis van Gaal's AZ Alkmaar side who yesterday became the Dutch Eredivisie champions. They suffered a surprising 2-1 defeat to Vitesse on Saturday, but Ajaz's failure to ebat PSV yesterday (they were hammered 6-2) handed AZ only their second ever league title.

They are actually the only team outside the Netherlands' "big three" (PSV, Ajax, Feyenoord) to win the top flight title since 1964 (AZ themselves won it in 1981) although they have been there or thereabouts for three out of the last four seasons.

After an inauspicious start to the 2008/9 season (AZ lost their first two games against NAC Breda and ADO Den Haag) they went on a twenty-eight match unbeaten run and have clinched the title and Champions League football with three matches to spare.

Whilst AZ are worthy champions, their march to the title has been helped by poor seasons for all three of the traditional Dutch heavyweights. Feyenoord have had a dreadful season and currently languish in ninth position. PSV have also been extremely disappointing, as have Marco van Basten's Ajax side who face an uphill struggle to qualify for the Champions League next season as they will likely face Steve McLaren's FC Twente side who have spent the vast majority of the season in second place.

Following a spate of "first time/unusual" league winners in Europe this season - the German and French leagues are still up for grabs - there seems to have been something of a sea change in the balance of power in some of the European leagues which, for me, makes things a lot more interesting.

Thursday, April 16, 2009

Federico Macheda for Manchester United (v Sunderland), 11 April 2009

Hello all, it is predictions time again. Not long to go, now.

Aston Villa 2-1 West Ham
Middlesbrough 1-1 Fulham
Portsmouth 2-1 Bolton
Stoke 1-0 Blackburn
Sunderland 2-1 Hull
Man City 1-1 West Brom
Tottenham 2-1 Newcastle

and from the FA Cup (90 min results)

Arsenal 0-1 Chelsea
Everton 1-1 Manchester United

and from a very exciting, close Le Championnat (7 games to go, Marseille 61 pts, Lyon 60 pts, Bordeaux 59 pts....)

Bordeaux 2-1 Lyon
Lorient 0-1 Marseille
PSG 2-0 Le Havre