Frank Lampard for Chelsea (vs Manchester Utd), 9th August 2009

I'm not sure if I love this part of the season or loathe it. Not a ball has been kicked in anger in the Premier League season and there's literally everything to play for. My team is even in the top division, for heaven's sake. And yet... there's something exhausting about seeing Sky trailing the new season before the old season has even really finished. The transfer pages in the papers remind me - if I ever really needed reminding - that most footballers are grasping idiots who really seem to believe they have a right to that extra £20,000 a week and a renegotiation on last year's five year contract. Football is a good game, but it's horribly bloated and flashy and so sure of its own importance. But at it's best, and for all of its many flaws, football remains a brilliant game.

So how about we look over last year's predictions, eh?

As always - something of a mixed bag.

The Review of ST's Reliably Appalling CUAS Predictions for the 2008/9 Premier League Season

1. Manchester Utd

They actually finished: 1st

Yay me.

I said: "It's a tough call this. I think Chelsea are likely to improve under Big Phil and they were close enough to Utd last year as it was.... but in the end I think that SAF is well set for another crack this year....it seems unlikely that Ronaldo can possibly be as good (or perhaps as committed) as he was last time out, but if Ferguson manages to sign the striker he's been looking for, then I can't see past them for the title....I expect Utd to take their number of titles level with Liverpool's record this year."

Hm. Wrong, wrong, wrong about Big Phil, but basically right about the rest. Knowing what's still to come, I'm taking this one as a win

One to Watch: Ben Foster.

Hmm. He never did manage to displace 134 year old Edwin Van de Sar. (although I was right about picking from their defence for your fantasy team... just call me nostradamus on that one)

2. Chelsea

They actually finished 3rd.

An easy mistake to make. Who knew that Big Phil would be such a disaster or that Liverpool would actually improve in the league? The Dutchman nearly saved their season, but in the end they had to make do with the FA Cup.

I said: "You can't help but feel sorry for poor old Uncle Avram Grant, but the plain fact is that Phil Scolari looks better equipped to take Chelsea forward from the mire they seem to find themselves in with vastly overpriced, overpaid and underperforming superstars wallowing about as the owner and the chief executive work to undermine their own management."

Nice thought. Big Phil couldn't and Hiddinck nearly did.

One to Watch: Big Phil

No. and of the players, I picked Deco.....

Fantasy signing: You could take a punt on Anelka scoring a hatful if he's used properly, or fork out for Fat Frank filling his boots from midfield, but you probably won't go far wrong with one of the defenders. Bosingwa is practically a winger, so should be bonus assist points there. I've not picked any of the miserable, sulky gits.

Just about right there, I suppose.

3. Liverpool

They actually finished: 2nd

I said: "Great manager though he is in Europe, if I was a Liverpool fan, I'd be wondering how much Rafa Benitez really wants to win the league. It's not as though they've been showing any kind of improvement and finish miles off the pace. It's all well and good resting the likes of Torres at the start of the season, but when it costs you points you should be winning. .....Gerrard and Torres aside though, they may ultimately be lacking quality at the very highest level."

I'm happy with that, actually. Suddenly the league looks like everything to Rafa, and if he can keep Torres and Gerrard on the pitch, they might just have chances this year too.

One to Watch: Robbie Keane. Is he really £20m good? Crouchinho's got big boots to fill...

hahahahahahaha.

4. Arsenal

They actually finished: 4th

I said: "Arsene Wenger could really do with winning something this year. Anything. He apparently has about £70m to spend on new players, but seems oddly / admirably / stubbornly resistant to spending it, preferring instead to scour Europe for gems in need of a bit of polishing. As a result, this Arsenal side looks a bit callow and lacking in a certain je ne sais quoi....." Pretty good so far..... "They'll probably over-perform, but I think they need some players of stature or they may even be overtaken by Spurs and drop out of the top 4 entirely."

Spurs? Oh, that ruins it. Right idea, wrong team.

One to Watch: Theo Walcott.

Yes, when he was fit, and Denilson was marvellous as a bargain signing for my Fantasy Team too.

5. Spurs

They actually finished: 8th.

I said: "I'm wary of predicting a top 4 finish for Spurs this year. I did the same thing last year, and they had an appalling season. Still, one good thing to come out of that was the arrival of the Special Juan: Juande Ramos looks like he is on the way to shaping a half-decent side.....If they don't break in to the top 4, they should at least be capable of beating the sides above them."

Hmm. Sort of, although Junade Ramos was replaced by the archetypal English wheeler-dealer in Harry Redknapp who rescued their season. They actually finished further up the league than I remembered.

One to Watch: Luca Modric.
Fantasy signing: David Bentley

Um. No and No?

6. Aston Villa

They actually finished: 6th

I said: ''Martin O'Neill is a good manager and Villa have been making real progress since he arrived. For me, this was confirmed with his stance to Liverpool over Gareth Barry - a player Villa must surely want to keep if they seriously want to break into the top 4. He didn't make a huge fuss, he just highlighted to Liverpool that if they wanted the player, they would have to pay what he thought that player was worth. ....The whole saga highlights Villa's problem though: they are improving but are ultimately struggling to hold onto their best player. I think this could be a season of consilidation rather than real development, but for now, I expect that's enough."

Quite so. Barry has now gone, and for all their post-Christmas disappointments and their ambitions to crack the top 4, I imagine Villa will ultimately be happy with the same again this year.

One to Watch: Gareth Barry.
Fantasy signing: Ashley Young.

A qualified success. Barry was a bit disappointing for me, and Young's season was much like Villa's - good for the first half and then very disappointing.

7. Everton

They actually finished: 5th

I said: "David Moyes is clearly doing a great job at Everton. Compared to some, he doesn't have a great deal of money and is forced to pick up admirable players like Phil Jagielka and Joelan Lescott as well as the odd overlooked gem like Arteta rather than being able to compete at the top end of the market. ....it's a bit hard to get excited about them though, isn't it?"

Like lots of people, it seems I underestimated David Moyes and Everton. Again. They did a very effective job, even making do when Cahill was (predicatably) injured for long periods of the season. They'll do well to match this performance this season, but I wouldn't count against it.

One to Watch: David Moyes.
Fantasy signing: Yakubu will be good for goals and for local pie shops. Jolean Lescott should also be a good source of points, even if he surely can't score as many goals as he managed last time out.

Yes, No, Yes, No.

8. Portsmouth

They actually finished: 14th (and they were quite lucky to finish that high up_

I said: "Last season's FA cup winners will do well if they can have half as productive a season as they managed last year. It's rare indeed that one of the major trophies goes to a side like this, and although they only faced Cardiff in the final, they did have to beat some decent sides on the way through. Their success was largely founded on a tough defence and some incredibly strong and muscular players throughout the side. Jermain Defoe and Peter Crouch are both quite a long way from being muscular, but they should be capable of scoring more goals this time around. They're going to need to though: that defence isn't getting any younger."

I was right about the defence, but wrong about the goals. Portsmouth are in big trouble this year.

One to Watch: Glenn Johnson's hair. Absurd and getting absurder.
Fantasy signing: Defoe or Crouch.

Well, they certainly missed Defoe, anyway.

9. Manchester City

They actually finished: 10th

I said: "Mark Hughes looks like a good manager, but this looks increasingly like a thankless task....They started well last time out, but faded badly. A little bit of consistency this year will go a long way."

But the game at City totally changed with the arrival of Sheikh Mansour, didn't it? Suddenly they were signing players like Robinho and Shay Given and daring to dream about breaking into the top 4... leaving the previous owner as a distant memory.....

One to Watch: Thaksin Shinawatra. In what world is Trashcan Sinatra considered a fit and proper person to run a football club? Ah yes, the crazy world of the Premier League. He's rich and that's all that matters, right?

...although not as rich as some. I think Hughes did well to get this high, to be honest.

10. West Ham

They actually finished: 9th

I said: "I used to quite like West Ham, but for some reason I have lost a lot of the affection that I once had for them. Having players like Dyer, Bellamy, Neill, Carlton Cole and Lee Bowyer probably doesn't help, but they also seem to have stopped being those plucky underdogs with the nice style of play and became a bunch of big-time charlies with nothing much to talk about in the way of achievements.....Mid-table. Any worse than that and I fear for the manager."

Well, I was right to fear for the manager, but the arrival of Gianfranco Zola and the departure of many of those players has recovered West Ham's reputation in a single stroke. People said that Zola was too nice a guy to be a manager, but the feelgood factor saw the Hammers soaring up the table.

One to Watch: Curbishley.
Fantasy signing: Valon Behrami. The swiss David Beckham, you know.

So that's two nos then?

11. Blackburn

They actually finished: 15th

I said: "What does it say about Blackburn that they have lost the likes of Friedel, David Bentley and Mark Hughes? They probably over-achieved under Hughes, and I think that they may revert to the norm"

Yes, but they actually struggled far more than I had imagined.

One to Watch: Ince. He's genuinely the "guvnor" now and has built up a track-record of success in the lower leagues.... but all eyes will be on him now.

....I know the stakes in the Premier League are higher than ever, but surely Ince wasn't given a fair crack of the whip?

Fantasy signing: Roque Santa Cruz is the only real choice here really, isn't he? Even then, it's partly because he might have caught the eye of a bigger club....

Well, if you call City bigger. A disappointing second season for a somewhat distracted RSC.

12. Newcastle

They actually finished: 18th

I said: "Surely to goodness this season can't be as eventful as last year, can it? No offence to any fans reading this, but this is a real car crash of a club. For some reason, I find myself wishing Newcastle nothing but good things, but time and time again I see them ripping themselves apart and generally being their own worst enemies. "

As Shane said last year, everyone always thinks Newcastle are going to finish higher than they actually do. Perhaps we've all been taken in by the mass delusion of the Geordies and their hopelessly romantic view of their club and its chances. They were a car crash last season, and frankly they deserved nothing more than to go down. I don't fancy their chances in the Championship either, to be honest.

One to Watch: Keegan. He must be due an explosion soon if Mike Ashley keeps angling for a sale and if things don't go well on the pitch.

Yup. Not entirely unpredictable (although Dennis Wise, really?), but true nonetheless.

13. Sunderland

They actually finished: 16th

I said: "Always the pick of the promoted clubs last season, but it will be a real test of Roy Keane's management skills how they cope this season. Signing big name players seems to have been something of a struggle this year, but Keane has picked up one or two reasonable looking players (mostly from Tottenham) and will be hopeful that they can build on last year's performances."

Well, Keane didn't last too long, and the club were actually relieved to avoid relegation. A step backwards from a promising beginning under Keane. They'll be oping Steve Bruce can bring some stability and a surer hand on the wheel.

14. Bolton Wanderers

They actually finished: 13th

I said: "Say what you like about Megson, and plenty of people in Nottingham would be more than happy to do so, but he did an undeniably good job in keeping Bolton in the division last year. Sure, devaluing the UEFA cup in the way that he did was hardly edifying, but even the most romantic Bolton fan would surely understand where he was coming from. He also managed to cope well with the loss of his top scorer in January and still survive. No mean feat. If his track record is anything to go by, Megson will hit a brick wall before long and alienate both fans and board alike, but given the lack of quality in the division this year, I think they could do an awful lot better than some people are predicting. It won't be pretty, that's for sure."

Not a bad guess, though I say so myself. Not pretty, as ever, but certainly effective.

15. Middlesbrough

They actually finished: 19th

I said: "Gareth Southgate may well be the most promising young manager in the league... but he's dull, dull, dull and the team has been built in his image. They've got a few decent players, and they may well be able to cope with the loss of players like Boateng, Schwartzer and Cattermole, but.... well, they're a bit nothing much really, aren't they? I expect them to stay up, but that's about all I've got to say about them."

All true. Apart from the staying up bit, obviously.

16. Fulham

They actually finished: 7th

I said: "Roy Hodgson did an amazing job last season cleaning up the mess that Lawrie Sancez left behind him in his doomed attempt to recreate the Crazy Gang / Norn Iron down by the River Thames. A lot of the crap from last season has been flushed away, and with a proper manager at the helm, I think they should be a bit better this season. ....Nothing fancy this year, but progress would be good enough for now"

Roy Hodgson has clearly done a brilliant job at Fulham. He saved them in 2007/8, and this year he made a real step forward into the Euro Sherpa Van Trophy (or whatever it's called). If they make a similar improvement this year, then they'll be looking at finishing.... 7th. Seriously, that's how good a finish this was for the Cottagers.

Fantasy signing: Jimmy Bullard.

Nope. Injured and then injured at Wigan.

17. Wigan

They actually finished: 11th

I said: "Steve Bruce is another manager who came to a club late in the day and quietly went about his business saving them from the drop. In his case, he was also clearly delighted to have escaped the boardroom nonsense at Birmingham and go to a club that actually seemed to want him as a manager. In footballing terms, they're yet another one of those clubs in the division who probably aren't going to set the world alight and who would be happy finishing 17th."

Not bad - except that the mediocrity of the division saw Wigan finishing 11th in the end.

One to Watch: Emile Heskey. Coco the clown is always great value. He managed to break a bone tripping over his own feet last year.

Nevermind breaking a foot: the clown broke back into the England team. The real miss here was quite how good Titus Bramble was at the back. If you want an example of how good a manager Bruce is becoming, look at Brambles improvement from the accident-waiting-to-happen at Newcastle.

18. West Brom

They actually finished: 20th

I said: "Hailed as the "Manchester Utd" of the Championship, West Brom come back into the top division having (in the end) dominated last year on their way to promotion. It's not a great comparison though: they scored a lot of goals last year and played some free flowing football, but their defence was often appallingly slack and I imagine that unless that has been substantially improved this year, they are going to get some heavy beatings. "

In spite of being a Wolves fan, I actually would have been happy to see West Brom stay up as standard bearers for the Championship. It wasn't to be. They played some nice football, but they were always the division's whipping boys. Still, I imagine they'll do better in the Championship this year than Newcastle....

19. Hull

They actually finished: 17th

I said: "It's a fairy story, but although they undoubtedly deserved promotion in the end, I still can't quite believe how they got out of the Championship last year. I can't bring myself to believe that they're going to be able to step up another level, and it's hard to see how they're going to do anything but go straight back down again. I think their fans probably know this, so I expect they will be looking to make the absolute most of their season in the sun. Good luck to them. Shame they ditched that tiger skin away stip though - that was brilliant!"

Well, you have to take your hat off to them. In the end they only escaped relegation by the barest whisper, but their early season form was electric and in the end, on the strength of that, they probably deserved to stay up. It was a worrying post-Christmas slump though, and something will have to change if they're going to stay up this year. Mind you, not seeing an Orange Phil Brown doing karaoke in front of some rather bemused fans would probably be the best thing for all of us, eh?

One to Watch: Dean Windass.

Well, he's increasingly hard to miss, isn't he?

20. Stoke

They actually finished: 12th !

I said: "To be fair to them, the absolutely deserved automatic promotion last season.... but I think the best they can hope for is to beat Derby's points tally from last year. Enjoy your season in the sun boys, and I sincerely hope I'm wrong. In fact, if Hull, West Brom and Stoke were to finish above Boro, Sunderland and Bolton, I'd be one of the first to celebrate... but it seems unlikely. Sorry."

Well, what a season that was. Even in the most fevered dreams of the most fervent Stoke fan, they can't possibly have imagined that they were going to finish this high up the table. I'm pleased on two fronts: one because they are a case study for how a smaller club from the Championship can prosper in the top division, and two because their presence in the league, together with Hull, Birmingham and Burnley, gives me hope as a Wolves fan that we might just be able to surivive in a mediocre division.......

One to Watch: Tony Pulis. He took the team to the unbelievable heights of the Premier League and yet the fans still don't like him.... what more do they want?

Pulis should have been manager of the season, no questions asked. In fact, he was robbed.

----

So, to sum it all up then:

#	ST's Predictions:	LB's predictions:	Actual League Table
1	Manchester Utd	Chelsea	Manchester Utd
2	Chelsea	Manchester Utd	Liverpool
3	Liverpool	Liverpool	Chelsea
4	Arsenal	Arsenal	Arsenal
5	Tottenham	Aston Villa	Everton
6	Aston Villa	Tottenham	Aston Villa
7	Everton	Manchester City	Fulham
8	Portsmouth	Everton	Tottenham
9	Manchester City	Newcastle	West Ham
10	West Ham	West Ham	Man City
11	Blackburn	Portsmouth	Wigan
12	Newcastle	Blackburn	Stoke
13	Sunderland	Sunderland	Bolton
14	Bolton	Fulham	Portsmouth
15	Middlesbrough	Wigan	Blackburn
16	Fulham	West Brom	Sunderland
17	Wigan	Hull	Hull
18	West Brom	Middlesbrough	Newcastle
19	Hull	Stoke	Middlesbrough
20	Stoke	Bolton	West Brom

Man, we're rubbish at this game.

Same again for this season?

Bobby Robson for England (v France), 27 November 1957

One of the most upsetting things about growing older is that people who you have spent your whole life admiring, respecting or loving start to die. When you're a kid, the deaths of people don't effect you quite so much as your little brain can't cope with the emotion and you haven't had long enough to get to know the person involved. In my mid-thirties, I find now that the deaths of both people I know and celebrities who provide the backdrop to my childhood and adult life hit me much harder.

Never has this been truer than when I heard the devastating news this morning that England legend Sir Bobby Robson had lost his battle with cancer. He was 76. Robson never managed a club I supported (with the exception of Barcelona for whom I have a soft spot for family reasons), and I never had the pleasure of meeting the man. What he did do however was provide the wallpaper for my entire life as a football fan from my early teenage years.

For many people my age the World Cup in Italy in 1990 is one of their defining football memories. In the days before football was on our televisions twenty four hours a day we all crowded around our sets at World Cup time to watch the magic of the world's best footballers - these exotic players who we only ever got to see once every four years or so. Italia 90 was no exception. The hairs on the back of your neck standing up when Nessun Dorma started playing on the television, Des Lynam's consummate professionalism and the hope, as ever, that it might *just* be England's time.

Bobby Robson was holding onto the England job by the skin of his teeth in 1990, lest we forget. A terrible Euro 88 nearly cost the Geordie his job as England boss but as the squad arrived in Italy with such talent as Barnes, Lineker, Beardsley, Waddle and, of course, Gascoigne there was hope (if not expectation) that England would perform.

Italia 90 provides to this day some of the most iconic images of my football life. Rijkaard and Voller's spat, Schillaci's eyes bulging from his head and the tears of England's number 19. That tournament also endeared Bobby Robson to the English public, an affection which he would never, ever wane. His fist pumping encouragement to his England side is seared into my memory, as is his "one man conga" down the touchline as David Platt's volley hit the back of the Belgian net.

For the thickness of a goalpost and a couple of miscued penalties Robson could be spoken of in the same breath as Sir Alf Ramsey. Still, England came as close to winning the World Cup in 1990 as we ever will in my lifetime and Robson was a national hero.

Lest we forget his achievements as a manager, they are considerable. The FA Cup and UEFA Cup with Ipswich Town. Two Eredivisie Championships with PSV Eindhoven in 1991 and 1992. The Portuguese Cup and Championship between 1994 and 1996. The Copa del Rey and European Cup Winners Cup with a Ronaldo inspired Barcelona in 1997. He also guided Newcastle United to a third place finish in the Premier League, famously winning his first home game in charge 8-0.

As well as the iconic images from the World Cup in 1990, my abiding memory of Robson will be his humility and tears on the presentation of the BBC Sports Personality "Lifetime Achievement" award in 2007. He was clearly and visibly moved by the presentation by Sir Alex Ferguson, the appearance of many of his players and peers and also the presence of his wife Elsie who survives him.

Sir Bobby Robson was, quite simply, one of the finest English managers of all time and one of the nicest men in football. He will be sorely missed.

John Thompson for Notts County (vs Wycombe Wanderers), 2nd May 2009

In something of a reversal of the plot of "Mike Bassett: England Manager", where the manager of a lower league club is made the manager of the national team, Sven Goran Eriksson, the former manager of the English national team, has just taken up the reigns at Notts County, a team in the fourth tier of English football.

You couldn't make it up. Truth really is sometimes even stranger than fiction.

Sven is apparently keen to move up to the Nottingham area, and just in case people aren't familiar with Nottingham, the Sun was quickly on hand with the key information:

"SVEN will find it hard NOT to score in Nottingham - rated by a dating website as one of Britain's best places to find eligible totty. But he faces tough competition as its reputation has also turned it into the country's top destination for stag parties. If he's on form, Sven could maybe bag a beauty like actress Samantha Morton, who hails from the city.

Nottingham girls are famously pretty - with many descended from those drawn from far and wide to work in its historic lace industry. For post-match fun, Sven will find the nightclubs very raunchy but a far cry from many of London's celeb-infested haunts. A good place to start is the city centre venue Rock City, which has two-for-one drinks every Thursday. Then there's Tantra, which supplies romantic revellers with vast beds to lounge on. Back of the net! For an added bonus, Nottingham is groaning under the weight of student totty - mainly because its universities offer some of the country's best nursing courses. As for the boozers, the nearest to Notts County's 20,000-capacity Meadow Lane is The Globe. It serves a cracking pie and pint, but isn't famed for its lady folk. Not to worry, Sven. A ten-minute walk from the ground takes you to Hooters, a bar and grill staffed by scantily-clad girls. Sven, who's partial to a cocktail and sushi, is more likely to be offered a pint of Rock Bitter or Rock Mild made at the famous Nottingham Brewery.

Locals often down it with a large bread roll called a cob.

The ever-sartorial Swede will be pleased to know top designer Paul Smith is from Nottingham, and has his flagship store there."

Pretty girls, Hooters, Paul Smith and cobs. It's all you really need to know, isn't it?

Sheesh. "....a large bread roll called a cob"??? Where exactly do they think Nottingham is? Abroad?

The Mirror, meanwhile, focuses the full forensic power of their expert analysis on telling their readers "Why Sven Goran Erikkson would be awful at Championship Manager and why Notts Country are doomed". Apparently Ferguson, Wenger, Pulis and Hughes would be pretty good, Redknapp and Allardyce would be brilliant but they have their doubts about the likes of Ancelotti and Benitez. Sven, they reckon, would stink at the game. Quite what that has to do with anything remains unclear. Perhaps he's really good at Sonic the Hedgehog? That's probably got just as much in common with actually running a real life football club as Championship Manager.....

As you might expect, the Guardian manages to assume a vastly more sophisticated tone in their coverage, and inform and entertain their readers with a list of all the things Sven needs to know about his new club. A list that includes such vital information as this:

"The definitive supporters' song is called I Had a Wheelbarrow. It goes: "I had a wheelbarrow, the wheel fell off/I had a wheelbarrow, the wheel fell off", to the tune of On Top of Old Smokey. Nobody really knows why."

Perhaps they reckon that a more educated, liberal, middle-class readership will already be well aware of what a cob is?

Oh, and Hooters is not a ten minute walk away from the ground. It's much nearer than that. And all you can eat chicken wings is only £6.99 per person all day on a Monday, so it's great value. Half price ribs on a Wednesday too, and kids eat free on a Sunday....

[I originally published this elsewhere, but then remembered that I also contribute to a football blog, so please excuse the repost....]

Lee Croft for Norwich City (v Ipswich Town), 7 December 2008

The BBC today report that ex-Norwich winger Lee Croft is to join Derby County. A pretty run-of-the-mill football story, as they go.

What concerns me though is the picture of Croft that the BBC have used on their site.











Is it me, or is the poor fella about to be attacked by the biggest flying insect Norwich has ever seen?

Darren Gibson for Manchester United (v Hull City), 24 May 2009

The Cheer Up Alan Shearer Predictions League

S, another season over and the fourth season of CUAS Predictions is complete. After wins for me in season 1, the title has finally been wrestled from Shane (winner in seasons 2 and 3). An excellent performance by Swiss Toni sees him take the title this season with 253 points. I was 15 points back in second, with Skif an excellent third, Andy a creditable fourth and the previous undisputed champion way back in 5th place.....

Weenie was 6th (a bonus 15 points for correctly predictiong the bottom three helped, there!).

Thanks again to everyone for playing, and we'll start the whole silly endeavour again in August.

Lasith Malinga for Sri Lanka (v West Indies), 10 June 2009

Due to my impending redundancy I spent a very relaxed and "bugger the work!" afternoon at Trent Bridge on Wednesday thanks to the generosity of a friend of mine who gave me a ticket.

I know this isn't even slightly football related, but can someone please explain to me how Lasith Malinga gets away with it?

Lionel Messi for Barcelona (v Manchester Utd), 27 May 2009

End of Season Loose Ends Rambling, Innit

1. Champions League

Were Manchester United beaten by a much better team on the night? Undoubtedly. Are Barcelona the best club side in the world, ever? No. The reality is somewhere in between - United could have defended better but Barcelona fully deserved their win, and are, I think, a popular winner of the tournament. I was also particularly encouraged by the magnanimity shown by Sir Alex after the match - not always apparent in the past.

2. Carlo Ancelotti

And Chelsea were oaning about their pragmatic, organised football under Mourinho. Chelsea fans - be prepared for your team to be extremely effective but you be bored shitless for his tenure.

3. Liverpool

That their chance to win the league gone. do you think?

4. Newcastle Utd

Dear oh dear. What a mess, there. At least 45 minutes against Aston Villa where they didn't seem to give a flying toss whether they were relagted or not rather sums it up for me. Bixzarrely, they were probably a better side than Hull but the Tigers victory at St James' ultimately decisive, I suppose.

Owen? sigh. What's going to happen there? Celtic? A decent job for a mid-table Premiership side? Abroad to salvage his career? Who knows?

Clearout, sign good Championship players and they'll make the play-offs next season. No demise of Leeds-esque proportions for the Magpies, methinks.

5. Transfers

It's started already, hasn't it? I used to love the good old days when you got home and realised your team had signed a great player and it came like a bolt out of the blue. Now, Sky Skorts News and the Sun fill their content with endless transfer speculation until you're so desperate to make it all stop that by the time Frank Ribery signs for your club you'll be so pissed off with the whole endeavour that you won't care two hoots.

Predictions results imminent, and I am thinking of posting a weekly quiz of some sort. Woot. Hold the front page....

Grafite for Wolfsburg (v Werder Bremen), 23 May 2009

In a season of unusual league winners (Finland, Norway, Sweden, Russia getting "first" league winners, AZ winning in Holland) we can add another to the list as unfancied Wolfsburg took their first ever Bundesliga title on Saturday after a 5-1 demolition of Werder Bremen. Winning an unprecedented 14 out of their 17 games after the winter break, Felix Magath's side (although it is no longer Felix Magath's side as he's off to Schalke) take the title for the first time in their 64 year history.

Bayern Munich were second and take a Champions League spot and Stuttgart finished third (they go into the Champions League quaklifying round). Hertha were a very creditable fourth and Hamburg finished fifth.

Armenia Bielefeld and Karksruhe are relegated, whilst Cottbus play Nurnberg to decide the final promotion/relegation place.

Michael Owen for England (v Argentina), 30 June 1998

Predictions are here.

"....it is certainly true that in recent years he has never been quite able to keep a note of polite peevishness out of his voice. So that most of the time he sounds like a junior executive complaining to the receptionist at his conference hotel that the provision of UHT milk cartons with the in-room tea and coffee making facilities is wholly inadequate."

Harry Pearson bemoans the declining career of ex-BBC Sports Personality of the Year Michael Owen.

Craig Fagan for Hull City (v Bolton Wanderers), 16 May 2009

So, here we go. The final predictions for the 2008/9 season...

I just have a sneaking suspicion that Newcastle are going to fluke their way out of the bottom three. A draw whilst Hull lose, perhaps...?

Arsenal 2-0 Stoke
Aston Villa 1-1 Newcastle
Blackburn 2-1 West Brom
Fulham 1-1 Everton
Hull 0-1 Man Utd
Liverpool 2-0 Tottenham
Man City 2-0 Bolton
Sunderland 0-2 Chelsea
West Ham 1-1 Middlesbrough
Wigan 1-1 Portsmouth

and wildcards from the European Cup Final

Barcelona 2-1 Manchester United
First goalscorer: Eto'o (Barcelona)
First booking: Evra (Manchester Utd)

Diomansy Kamara for Fulham (v Newcastle United), 16 May 2009

Newcastle's defeat to Fulham on Saturday pushes them back into the bottom three and therefore requires the result of the Hull City v Manchester United game to go their way next weekend.

I can't help thinking that this leaves Sir Alex in a bit of a predicament. Having sewn up the title with a listless display against Arsenal on Saturday lunchtime, and with a Champions League final four days after the Hull game you could hardly blame Ferguson for leaving out his "star" names and sending a reserve team out against the Tigers.

The problem here is that the age old issue about "the integrity of the league" rears its head. Can you imagine the storm that would develop if Ferguson sent out a team made up of fringe and reserve players who were duly dispatched by Hull therefore sending Newcastle to the Championship? (admittedly, this scenario involves Hull beating any team Ferguson chooses to send out which, in their form, is pretty unlikely).

The other factor of course is that Shearer famously turned down Sir Alex on a couple of occasions, and so there is not much love lost between either Ferguson and Shearer or, let's be fair, the United faithful and the Toon manager.

Early reports suggest Ferguson is likely to leave out some of the bigger names players for the game (Rooney and Ronaldo have been mentioned) and I very much doubt he'd send out his under 15 team simply to send Newcastle down. If the Geordies lose to Aston Villa, it will of course all be irrelevant. If they don't, though, Ferguson's team selection will come under the most intense scrutiny and any sense that he sent out a considerably weakened side will incur the ire of every Newcastle fan for years to come.

Michael Carrick for Manchester United (v Wigan Athletic), 13 May 2009

OK, in the home straight....

Bolton 1-0 Hull
Everton 2-1 West Ham
Man Utd 1-1 Arsenal
Middlesbrough 1-0 Aston Villa
Newcastle 1-2 Fulham
Stoke 0-0 Wigan
Tottenham 2-1 Man City
West Brom 2-4 Liverpool
Chelsea 2-0 Blackburn
Portsmouth 2-1 Sunderland

and wildcards from the Bundesliga again (my, it is close....)

Hannover 1-1 Wolfsburg
TSG Hoffenheim 0-2 Bayern Munich
Hertha Berlin 2-1 Schalke

Carlos Tevez for Manchester Utd (v Manchester City), 10 May 2009

"....Meanwhile the club's Argentine star Carlos Tevez has signalled his desire to leave at the end of the season. Ferguson has restricted Tevez's appearances in recent months, claiming that whenever he sees him charging down the wing, "it's like one of those dirty great Orcs from Lord of the Rings coming at you in 3D"....."

The Daily Mash gets to grips with the Carlos Tevez transfer story in the way only they can.

Eduardo for Guingamp (v Rennes), 9 May 2009

A couple of small "end of season" updates.

French Ligue 2 side Guingamp became only the second non-top flight club to win the French Cup on Saturday (and the first for 50 years) when they came from 1-0 down to beat Stade Rennes 2-1 in front of a sell-out 80,000 crowd at the Stade de France.

Ex Fulham defender Carlos Bocanegra gave Rennes the lead in the 69th minute but two strikes from Brazilian frontman Eduardo in the 72nd and 83rd minutes gave the minnows a famous win and a place in next season's Europa League.

(in Ligue 1 it looks increasingly likely that Lyon will finally lose their seven year grip on the league title - they are seven points behind joint leaders Marseille and Bordeaux with four games to play).

In the heady non-league heights of the Unibond Premier League, FC United of Manchester found the level of competition harder than in previous seasons. Entering the final day of the campaign knowing that a win would secure a play-off berth, the Reds only managed a 1-1 draw with Bradford Park Avenue in front of nearly 4,000 at Gigg Lane and so agonisingly finished one place outside the play-off positions. Eastwood Town were promoted as champions and will be joined in the Blue Square North next season by Ilkeston Town who beat Nantwich 2-1 in the play-off final.

Andres Iniesta for Barcelona (v Chelsea), 6 May 2009

Hello. Predictions time again....

Blackburn 2-1 Portsmouth
Bolton 1-0 Sunderland
Everton 2-1 Tottenham
Fulham 1-1 Aston Villa
Hull 1-0 Stoke
West Brom 2-1 Wigan
West Ham 0-1 Liverpool
Arsenal 1-2 Chelsea
Manchester Utd 2-0 Manchester City
Newcastle 1-1 Middlesbrough

Wildcards from the Football League play-offs:

Burnley 2-1 Reading
Bury 1-1 Shrewsbury
Sheff Utd 2-0 Preston

John O'Shea for Manchester United (v Arsenal), 29 April 2009

I have updated the predictions table so entering the final straight it's still up for grabs (considering there are 15 bonus points on offer for correctly predicting who will be relegated from the Premier League). For reference, your guesses were:

ST: West Brom, Newcastle, Stoke
LB: West Brom, Middlesbrough, Stoke
Andy: West Brom, Portsmouth, Stoke
Shane: West Brom, Middlesbrough, Stoke
Skif: West Brom, Stoke, Newcastle
Weenie: West Brom, Middlesbrough, Newcastle

(looks like Weenie might be the only one to score a full bonus haul, there!)

Chelsea 2-0 Fulham
Man City 2-1 Blackburn
Middlesbrough 0-1 Man Utd
Portsmouth 1-1 Arsenal
Stoke 1-0 West Ham
Tottenham 2-1 West Brom
Wigan 1-0 Bolton
Liverpool 2-0 Newcastle
Sunderland 0-1 Everton
Aston Villa 2-1 Hull City

and who's going up and down from the Championship?

Charlton 2-1 Norwich City
Crystal Palace 1-1 Sheffield Utd
Plymouth 1-0 Barnsley
Reading 2-0 Birmingham

Luka Modric for Tottenham Hotspur (v Manchester United), 25 April 2009

Footballers names Mrs LB has misheard during commentary: Part 4.

"...did he just say his name was Moderate"?

Danny Wallace for Southampton (v Liverpool), 16 March 1984

It's MS Week from 27th April to 3rd May. It's an opportunity to try and raise awareness about a condition that affects some 85,000 people in this country and about which there are many misconceptions.

Multiple Sclerosis can affect anyone, and international standard footballers are no different in this respect to distinctly average 5-a-side trundlers like me. One player affected will be familiar to many football fans of a certain age, and he is one who had his career at the highest level cruelly cut short by this presently incurable condition: Danny Wallace:



Danny's Story

Danny was in his 20’s and at the top of his game playing professional football for Manchester United when he first starting experiencing symptoms that would eventually lead to a diagnosis of MS.

He was unable to bounce back from injury and was spending an increasing amount of time in the treatment rooms.

“At first I thought it was the usual injuries that all professional footballers got, but after a while things didn’t seem right,” he explains.

The turning point for Danny was in 1993 when he signed for Birmingham City. He began to feel pins and needles in his legs and feet and would feel incredibly tired after games. It was the smaller symptoms of the condition that had a major effect on his every day life.

“I would get frustrated that my feet were numb or I had pins and needles in my legs, I just wanted to play football. I couldn’t understand what the problem was.”

After deciding to retire from professional football in 1995, Danny went to speak to a financial advisor about his pension. He was sent for medical tests which diagnosed him with having multiple sclerosis - a condition of the central nervous system which causes the body’s immune system to attack myelin, a substance surrounding nerve fibres, causing confusion and delay in messages from the brain and spine.

MS can cause a variety of symptoms including loss of balance and mobility, extreme fatigue, depression and mood swings. There is currently no cure and few effective treatments, but with the right support and information people can continue their lives.

Now, almost 12 years since his diagnosis, Danny, age 45, has stepped forward to be one of the faces in the MS Society’s new campaign to raise awareness of the condition.

“Since being diagnosed I’ve spent much of my time raising money for others affected by MS and I was happy to take part in the campaign. It’s important to help others understand what the condition is,” he said.

“When I was first diagnosed I kept my condition quiet and only told close family and friends. I found it embarrassing and I couldn’t come to terms with it. Five years after my diagnosis I was able to come out and tell people.”

Unfortunately for Danny, his MS stopped his career as a professional footballer reaching its full potential.

“I would have definitely got more opportunities had I been fit while I was at Manchester United – I couldn’t play as many games as I wanted to and that had a negative affect on my career for sure.”

Now Danny is retired he helps raise money and awareness for MS, along with looking after the family home and his children. His symptoms include fatigue, pins and needles in his legs, problems with walking and regular back spasms, especially in the morning.

“I take regular medication, which helps, but walking is always a problem. I’ve even been out with friends in a social situation and people have presumed I was drunk. I might have had a few drinks but I certainly wasn’t drunk. It made me feel disappointed in people – that they could just presume that that’s the case, but I suppose they weren’t to know.”


---

Apologies for hijacking CUAS for this public service broadcast. Normal service can now be resumed.

Andrei Arshavin for Arsenal (v Liverpool), 21 April 2009

Hello all. Yes, it is that time again.

Bolton 1-1 Aston Villa
Everton 2-0 Man City
Fulham 1-0 Stoke
Hull 0-2 Liverpool
Man Utd 1-0 Tottenham
West Brom 2-1 Sunderland
West Ham 0-2 Chelsea
Arsenal 2-0 Middlesbrough
Blackburn 2-1 Wigan
Newcastle 1-1 Portsmouth

and wildcards from the Champions League semi-finals

Barcelona 2-1 Chelsea
Manchester United 1-1 Arsenal

Mounir El Hamdaoui for AZ Alkmaar (v Vitesse Arnhem), 18 April 2009

A huge congratulations today to Louis van Gaal's AZ Alkmaar side who yesterday became the Dutch Eredivisie champions. They suffered a surprising 2-1 defeat to Vitesse on Saturday, but Ajaz's failure to ebat PSV yesterday (they were hammered 6-2) handed AZ only their second ever league title.

They are actually the only team outside the Netherlands' "big three" (PSV, Ajax, Feyenoord) to win the top flight title since 1964 (AZ themselves won it in 1981) although they have been there or thereabouts for three out of the last four seasons.

After an inauspicious start to the 2008/9 season (AZ lost their first two games against NAC Breda and ADO Den Haag) they went on a twenty-eight match unbeaten run and have clinched the title and Champions League football with three matches to spare.

Whilst AZ are worthy champions, their march to the title has been helped by poor seasons for all three of the traditional Dutch heavyweights. Feyenoord have had a dreadful season and currently languish in ninth position. PSV have also been extremely disappointing, as have Marco van Basten's Ajax side who face an uphill struggle to qualify for the Champions League next season as they will likely face Steve McLaren's FC Twente side who have spent the vast majority of the season in second place.

Following a spate of "first time/unusual" league winners in Europe this season - the German and French leagues are still up for grabs - there seems to have been something of a sea change in the balance of power in some of the European leagues which, for me, makes things a lot more interesting.

Federico Macheda for Manchester United (v Sunderland), 11 April 2009

Hello all, it is predictions time again. Not long to go, now.

Aston Villa 2-1 West Ham
Middlesbrough 1-1 Fulham
Portsmouth 2-1 Bolton
Stoke 1-0 Blackburn
Sunderland 2-1 Hull
Man City 1-1 West Brom
Tottenham 2-1 Newcastle

and from the FA Cup (90 min results)

Arsenal 0-1 Chelsea
Everton 1-1 Manchester United

and from a very exciting, close Le Championnat (7 games to go, Marseille 61 pts, Lyon 60 pts, Bordeaux 59 pts....)

Bordeaux 2-1 Lyon
Lorient 0-1 Marseille
PSG 2-0 Le Havre

Neil Eardley for Oldham Athletic (v Carlisle United), 10 April 2009

Oldham Athletic's injury crisis worsened on Good Friday when 7 foot mascot Chaddy the Owl (better known as 34 year old Wayne Hurst) fell off a BMX bicycle when attempting an ill-advised wheelie prior to the League One tie with Carlisle United.

Chaddy ruptured ankle ligaments in the, er "accident" but did bravely maintain the mascot's unwritten rule that "you never remove your head in front of the crowd" by refusing gas and air from the attending St John's Ambulance staff.

He said: “I knew as soon as I hit the ground that I was in trouble. I was shouting to the stewards that I’d hurt myself but they were just laughing.” He was given a standing ovation as he was wheeled off the pitch.

Branoslav Ivanovic for Chelsea (v Liverpool), 8 April 2009

Good day, fellow prediction peeps. Tis that time once more.

Chelsea 2-0 Bolton
Liverpool 2-0 Blackburn
Middlesbrough 2-1 Hull
Portsmouth 3-1 West Brom
Stoke 1-0 Newcastle
Sunderland 0-1 Man Utd
Tottenham 2-1 West Ham
Wigan 1-1 Arsenal
Aston Villa 1-1 Everton
Man City 2-1 Fulham

and wildcards of ex-Premier League teams from Monday's League fixtures:

Norwich 1-0 Watford
Sheffield United 2-0 Nottingham Forest
Leicester 1-1 Leeds United

Florent Malouda for Chelsea (v Newcastle United), 4 April 2009

Newcastle United haven't been short of so-called "messiahs" over the years and the latest local hero to attempt to return the club to some sort of (largely fictional) "former glory" is none other than the man after who this blog was named.

It's hard not to be cynical about the appointment. Eight games remain with a difficult run-in and Shearer has been at pains to maintain he has only taken the job until the end of the season. No doubt the best part of a million quid helped the decision, but the fact that with so little of the season remaining he can either a) keep Newcastle in the Premier League to great acclaim or b) spectacularly fail, pocket the dosh and blame the previous management before hotfooting it back to the safety of the Match of the Day settee.

For a club trying to keep out of the relegation places it's hard to look beyond the senior executives when apportioning the blame. Considering the level of expectation associated with the club, 2008/9's management appointments reading: Keegan, Kinnear, Hughton, Shearer hardly sets the pulses racing. Shearer has himself little of the coaching qualifications expected for a job at this level.

The best Newcastle can hope for is a surge of optimism and belief that leads to them achieveing the wins they need to stay up. Such optimism was all but absent on Saturday though as Chelsea secured a fairly routine 2-0 win at St James Park. Newcastle are at Stoke next, and a failure to win that fixture would see them edge towards becoming odds-on favourite for the drop.

Having apparently resisted the overtures of his boyhood club before I am not surprised that he has made this shrewdly opportunistic move now. Like I say, he has nothing to lose (other than the pain he will supposedly suffer if the team go down. Yeah, right) and everything to gain. Still, if he succeeds in imparting his dirty tactics and constant haranguing of officials to his team, I suppose they have every chance.

Robbie Keane for Republic of Ireland (v Italy), 1 April 2009

You will notice from the sidebar that it's all of a sudden a bit tighter at the top than it was a few weeks ago. With a bonus 15 points available for correctly predicting the bottom 3 at the end of the season, it's all to play for.

And hello if you've googled "Alan Shearer" today (more on that appointment in due course)....

Arsenal 2-0 Man City
Blackburn 1-1 Tottenham
Bolton 2-1 Middlesbrough
Fulham 1-1 Liverpool
Hull 2-1 Portsmouth
Newcastle 0-1 Chelsea
West Brom 2-1 Stoke
West Ham 2-0 Sunderland
Everton 2-1 Wigan
Manchester Utd 1-0 Aston Villa

and some wildcards from the bottom of the Championship:

Barnsley 2-1 Nottingham Forest
Blackpool 3-1 Plymouth
Southampton 2-0 Charlton

Trevor Cherry for Leeds United (v Liverpool), 10 August 1974

The Damned United (15)

8.5 / 10

Director: Tom Hooper
Starring: Michael Sheen, Timothy Spall, Colm Meaney

There have been a spate of superb football books written over the last few years and three of the best, coincidentally, concern Nottingham and one of its most famous local heroes. Gary Imlach's My Father And Other Working Class Heroes was set in the city, but the other two - one fact and one fiction - were based on one of football's most well-known characters. Duncan Hamilton's Provided You Don't Kiss Me was a personal account of spending twenty years in the company of Brian Howard Clough but it is David Peace's superb The Damned United that has attracted most attention.

A fictional account of the manager's forty-four days in charge of champions Leeds United, The Damned United drew controversy when it was denounced by both members of the Leeds team of that era and by Clough's family. For what it is worth, I thought that the book was terrific, and one of the best things I have read in the last decade or so.

The big-screen adaptation of The Damned United is softer than the book and tries to present more of a biographical look at Clough's early management years. Set in 1974 with flashbacks to his earlier Derby County years, director Hooper manages to successfully re-create the era and the atmosphere of the early 1970s and whilst the football sequences aren't perfect, the tone certainly is.

Clearly the subject matter offers solid gold material. Whatever your opinion of Clough (and I get the impression there is more affection for him now than there ever was at the time) there's no doubt that his outspoken wit and wisdom are much missed in this era of inane footballing platitudes. Michael Sheen does a fabulous job as a young Clough mimicking both his voice and idiosycratic behaviour perfectly. One of the finest character actors of his generation, Sheen brings a huge believability to the role and makes Clough into a more loveable figure than Peace created in his novel.

Supported by terric performances from Timothy Spall as assistant Peter Taylor and Colm Meaney (who is astonishingly good as grumpy Yorkshireman Don Revie), The Damned United is an absolute must-see. Considering my wife thought it was excellent and she knows nothing more of Brian Clough than seeing his name adorn the stand at the City Ground as she goes past on the bus, The Damned United is a triumph for all concerned.

Steven Gerrard for Liverpool (v Aston Villa), 22 March 2009

Oooh, it's "finger in the air" international fixture prediction time again!

Germany 5-0 Liechtenstein
Holland 3-0 Scotland
Israel 1-2 Greece
Lithuania 0-2 France
Montenegro 0-1 Italy
Portugal 1-1 Sweden
Republic of Ireland 2-1 Bulgaria
Spain 2-1 Turkey
Wales 1-0 Finland
England 3-0 Slovakia

and some wildcards from the England game

First goalscorer: Gerrard
England goalkeeper at the final whistle: Ben Foster
Minutes David Beckham plays: 45

Bobby Charlton for Manchester United (v Benfica), 29 May 1968

I have just finished reading the club part of Sir Robert's autobiography, imaginatively titled My Manchester United Years.

Whilst he's never been the most controversial figure in the world, I found it a really interesting read - as you'd hope from one of the finest footballers these shores have ever produced. From his upbringing in the North East (saving his pocket money to go and watch Newcastle United with his elder brother) to captaining United to European Cup success it is an interesting tale as much for the inisght to football in the 1950s and 1960s as it is about his own life.

As expected, the chapters devoted to the disaster at Munich are moving and emotional as he tells the story through the eyes of a survivor, confused as to why he was spared when so many of his talented team-mates perished in the accident. He also shares his all-time Manchester United XI with us (which, to be fair, contains few surprises.)

It's not a controversy laden autobiography lifting the lid on the internal workings of United but it is a charmingly modest and interesting story of one of the game's most famous and well-respected characters.

Fabio Aurelio for Liverpool (v Manchester United), 14 March 2009

It's like the 1980s in reverse. Liverpool would pretty much always win the title but United would occasionally beat them in the league along the way....

Blackburn 2-1 West Ham
Fulham 0-2 Man Utd
Newcastle 1-2 Arsenal
Portsmouth 1-1 Everton
Stoke 1-0 Middlesbrough
Tottenham 0-2 Chelsea
West Brom 2-1 Bolton
Liverpool 2-0 Aston Villa
Man City 2-1 Sunderland
Wigan 2-0 Hull

Wildcards from a close Bundesliga title race

Bayern Munich 3-0 Karlsruhe
Hoffenheim 2-1 Hannover
Stuttgart 1-0 Hertha Berlin

Nemanja Vidic for Manchester United (v Inter Milan), 11 March 2009

I know I have said this before but there just seems to me to be something fundamentally wrong about English clubs making up half the quarter-final line up for the European Cup. It's supposed to be about different countries, different styles and yet we're liable to have Arsenal v Liverpool or similar in the quarter-final.

I just don't like it - I'd be much more interested in watching eight different nations going head to head than I am watching games I can see in the Premier League twice a season already....

Arsenal 2-0 Blackburn
Bolton 1-1 Fulham
Everton 2-0 Stoke
Hull 1-1 Newcastle
Man Utd 2-1 Liverpool
Middlesbrough 1-2 Portsmouth
Sunderland 2-1 Wigan
Aston Villa 1-1 Tottenham
Chelsea 2-0 Manchester City
West Ham United 2-0 West Bromwich Albion

wildcards from some random cup thingummies

AFC Telford 1-1 York City
Stevenage 2-1 Ebbsfleet United
Celtic 0-0 Rangers

Peter Lovenkrands for Newcastle Utd (v Manchester Utd), 4 March 2009

Hello all, it's predictions time again. A hotchpotch of league and Cups, this week.

Sunderland 1-1 Tottenham Hotspur

Coventry 0-2 Chelsea
Fulham 0-1 Manchester United
Arsenal 2-0 Burnley
Everton 2-0 Middlesbrough

Dunfemline 1-1 Aberdeen
Inverness CT 2-1 Falkirk
St Mirren 0-2 Celtic
Rangers 2-0 Hamilton

Wildcards from Austria:

FK Austria Vienna 2-0 LASK Linz
SV Red Bull Salzburg 2-1 SK Sturm Graz
SV Ried 2-0 Austria Karnten

And for five points per correct prediction at the end of the season - who's going down from the Premier League?

West Bromwich Albion
Middlesbrough
Stoke City

Yossi Benayoun for Liverpool (v Real Madrid), 25 February 2009

Nineteen points in it. Come on, chasing pack!

Arsenal 2-0 Fulham
Chelsea 2-0 Wigan
Everton 1-0 West Brom
Middlesbrough 1-1 Liverpool
Aston Villa 2-1 Stoke
Bolton 2-1 Newcastle
Hull 1-2 Blackburn
West Ham 1-1 Man City

and wildcards from the Carling Cup Final:

Manchester Utd 2-1 Tottenham
First goalscorer: Tevez (Man Utd)
First booking: Assou-Ekotto (Spurs)

Wayne Rooney for Manchester United (v Fulham), 18 February 2009

Is it a world record for Edwin van der Sar? Either way, 14 games? Bonkers.

Arsenal 2-0 Sunderland
Aston Villa 1-2 Chelsea
Bolton 1-1 West Ham
Man Utd 2-0 Blackburn
Middlesbrough 1-1 Wigan
Stoke 1-0 Portsmouth
Fulham 2-1 West Brom, 13:30
Liverpool 2-0 Man City, 15:00
Newcastle 0-0 Everton, 16:00
Hull 2-2 Tottenham

the Champions League is back!

Inter Milan 1-0 Manchester United
Chelsea 2-1 Juventus
Real Madrid 2-0 Liverpool

John Carew for Aston Villa (v Slavia Prague), 6 November 2008

What is the point of spending an entire season successfully chasing a European place in the league (and in some instances plying six or so games in the Inter-Toto Cup in July) if all you're going to do is play a reserve side in the Cup the following season?

"The league is more important", you see. Important in the sense it qualifies you for European games you're not bothered about playing?

Mad.

David Villa for Spain (v England), 11 February 2009

Mumble, mumble, 2010 World Cup, quarter finals would be a fantastic achievement, Carlton Cole, really? lack of technical ability, Stuart Downing (giggle).....

FA Cup time this week. Anyone interested in watching Watford v Chelsea live on ITV on Saturday teatime? No, me neither.

Blackburn Rovers 2-0 Coventry City
Sheffield United 2-1 Hull
Swansea City 1-1 Fulham
Watford 0-2 Chelsea
West Ham 2-0 Middlesbrough
Derby County 0-2 Manchester United
Everton 1-0 Aston Villa
Arsenal 3-0 Cardiff

Wildcards this week from the Championnat:

PSG 2-0 St Etienne
Lyon 3-1 Le Havre
Monaco 1-2 Marseille

Fernando Torres for Liverpool (v Portsmouth), 7 February 2009

Two more casualties in the Premiership today with the expected sacking of Pompey boss Tony Adams and the unexpected departure of Luiz Felipe Scolari leaving Chelsea searching for their fourth manager in eighteen months.

Both sackings seem to be frankly ridiculous, for similar reasons.

Let's start with Adams. To be quite honest, I don't rate Adams' managerial skills. His reign at Portsmouth has lasted just over three months and he has presided over sixteen league games of which they have won just two. This is after an unimpressive earlier stint at Wycombe Wanderers.

Saying that, though, I really feel for him. The club's financial situation is precarious and the team have been playing resonably well, only losing to Liverpool on Saturday by conceding twice in the last few minutes. It's hardly like he has had the time or opportunity to stamp his mark on the side and if he was the right man for the job three months ago either it's a knee-jerk decision or the people who employed him got it totally wrong and should carry the can.

Scolari is in a similar boat. Expectations at Chelsea have been raised to an unattainable level under Abramovich - take the firing of limited but honourable man Avram Grant despite Chelsea being a whisker and penalty kick away from doing the Premiership/Champions League double last season. Chelsea are a mere seven points behind Manchester United and going well in the FA Cup and Champions League. Performances have dipped of late, but is seems pretty harsh to sack the manager with a team in that position (especially when they have no replacement in mind).

What's going on? The average tenure for a manager these days is, apparently, around 17 months. The financial pressures on promotion and relegation are so great that pretty much all management roles have become something of a poisoned chalice and only (and I mean only) instant and continued success seems to be good enough. Sacking managers with less then two dozen games under their belt seems completely ludicrous and undermines the whole essence of the role. Paul Ince got seventeen games as manager of Blackburn Rovers - Adams one less. Considering the long term success achieved by managers who get a fair crack of the whip (Ferguson and Wenger the two obvious examples, David Moyes a close third) I just wish club would pick a manager and stick with them through thick and thin. It took Sir Alex four years to win a trophy at Manchester United - in this day and age he would have been long gone by that point.

I appreciate that times have changed (financially) and that those pressures on chairmen are more severe than ever. I do think though that enough is enough though before we get to the stage where a manager gets a rolling contract for a game at a time which ends when they lose a match. Or why not get rid of the management role altogether and just let the players decide what to do?

Dan Gosling for Everton (v Liverpool), 4 February 2009

....Apparently. I didn't see it :-)

Ah, hello there. It's predictions time again, innit.

Manchester City 2-0 Middlesbrough
Blackburn Rovers 2-1 Aston Villa
Chelsea 2-0 Hull City
Everton 1-0 Bolton Wanderers
Portsmouth 0-2 Liverpool
Sunderland 2-1 Stoke City
West Bromwich Albion 2-0 Newcastle Utd
Wigan Athletic 2-1 Fulham
Tottenham Hotspur 1-1 Arsenal
West Ham United 0-1 Manchester United

Wildcards from League Two this week:

Accrington Stanley 2-1 Luton Town
Darlington 2-0 Wycombe
Gillingham 3-1 Bradford

Edwin van der Sar for Ajax (v de Graafschaap), 3 May 1998

Whether you like them or not, congratulations go to Manchester United and specifically their Dutch international goalkeeper who broke a longstanding English record on Saturday.

It has now been an astonishing 1,104 minutes since Edwin van der Sar picked the ball out of his net eclipsing the record set by the fantastically named Steve Death during the 1978-9 season.

It is a particular testament to the veteran keeper that he has done this behind a regularly changing defence, with the back four having variously included Nemanja Vidic, Gary Neville, Rafael da Silva, John O'Shea, Patrice Evra, Wes Brown and Jonny Evans during this run.

If van der Sar keeps West Ham at bay for 75 minutes at Upton Park on Sunday he will beat the current British record (held by Rangers' Chris Woods). A clean sheet against the Hammers will then mean that if the Dutchmen gets to the 65th minute against Fulham next Wednesday night without conceding he will beat the world record (currently held by Atletic Madrid's Abel Renso).

van der Sar has had a terrific career. He is Holland's most capped player and was the first non-Italian to keep goal for Juventus. He is also one of the few players to win the Champions League with two clubs, picking up winners medals with Ajax in 1995 and Manchester United in 2008. He has also won a UEFA Cup winners medal and six league titles with United and Ajax.

Many records have fallen during the Ferguson era, and for a team who have receive regular plaudits over the years for their fine attacking football it must be of great satisfaction to Ferguson that his side are also record-breakers for their defensive achievements. A model professional, I hope van der Sar makes it through the next couple of games with his luck intact as it would be a tremendous crowning achievement to a fantastic career.

Mido for Wigan Athletic (v Liverpool), 28 January 2009

Henry Winter today: "Manchester City failing to sign Kaka but getting Craig Bellamy is a bit like having a ticket for the Rio carnival but ending up at a karaoke night in Cardiff......"

Arsenal 2-0 West Ham
Aston Villa 2-1 Wigan
Bolton 0-1 Tottenham
Fulham 2-1 Portsmouth
Hull 1-1 West Brom
Man Utd 1-0 Everton
Middlesbrough 1-2 Blackburn
Stoke 0-0 Man City
Liverpool 1-0 Chelsea
Newcastle 0-0 Sunderland

Wildcards from the Championship

Cardiff 2-1 Nottingham Forest
Preston 1-0 Sheff Utd
QPR 1-1 Reading

Giles Barnes for Derby County (v Manchester Utd), 20 January 2009

Hello all.

Some fascinating (honest) stuff about the "winter European leagues" here. An unprecedented four "first time league winners", you know......

It's the FA Cup again this weekend - watch in awe as all the big teams go through!!! (although United having no defenders to speak of is a bit of a worry....)

Chelsea 2-0 Ipswich
Doncaster Rovers 2-1 Aston Villa
Hartlepool 1-1 West Ham
Kettering 0-2 Fulham
Man Utd 2-1 Tottenham
Sunderland 1-1 Blackburn Rovers
Torquay 2-1 Coventry City
Wolves 2-0 Middlesbrough
Cardiff 0-2 Arsenal
Liverpool 1-0 Everton

Wildcards from the mighty Eredivisie this week:

PSV 3-1 NAC
Groningen 1-1 Ajax
Vitesse 2-1 NEC

Veigar Pall Gunnarsson for Stabaek (v Valerenga), 26 October 2008

Even though it's only the third week of the New Year there are European leagues whose titles and glory have already been decided, and it is fair to say that it has been the year of the underdog. Bearing in mind the relative uncompetitiveness of the major European leagues (in terms of who wins them) these four leagues had the most amazing seasons......

Sweden

After a nailbiting finish to the 2007 Allsvenskan league season, 2008 had another similarly tense denouement. Last season's champions Gothenburg could only manage a 3rd place finish (ten points off the pace) and so the title once again went down to the final day of the season.

2006 Champions Elfsborg ended up falling agonisingly short and the title went to last years runners-up Kalmar FF. Remarkably, it is Kalmar's first ever league title and they were only prevented from a historic double by a penalty shootout defeat to Gothenburg in the Svenska Cup final. Their success is even more astonishing considering that the club were in the second tier of Swedish football as recently as 2003.

With nine different winners since 1997, the Allsvenskan remains one of Europe's most interesting and competitive leagues.

Norway

It was pretty much a complete changing of the guard in Norway this season. After the joy last year of their first league title since 1963 Brann had a disappointing season finishing in a lowly eighth place, twenty-one points off the Championship pace. Rosenborg's relative decline continued also, as having won fifteen of the previous seventeen league titles they could only manage to match 2007's disappointing fifth place.

Third in 2007, Viking could only finish sixth, and the fourth place team in 2007, Lillestrom, finished a place above the relegation play-offs losing their management along the way (replacing them with ex Manchester United defender Henning Berg.)

It was therefore to be another Scandinavian fairytale as Stabaek clinched their first ever league title with their 6-2 victory over Valerenga in the penultimate match of the season. Unfashionable Frederikstad were second, Tromso third and newly promoted Bodo/Glimt finished an excellent fourth just two points off a Europa League spot.

2005 champions Valerenga were victorious in the Cup and claim the final Europa League place.

Russia

An unprecedented hat-trick of "first time league winners" was completed in the Russian Premier League. Unfancied FC Rubin Kazan from the Tatarstan Republic (only promoted to the top flight in 2003) won the Russian title on matchday 27. Wagner Love's 20 goals propelled CSKA Moscow into second place with Dinamo Moscow in third.

UEFA Cup and Super Cup winners Zenit St Petersburg could only finish in fifth place despite spending a cool €30 million on Danny, the most expensive player in Russian football history. This means they fail to qualify for the Champions League in 2009/10.

Interestingly (and somewhat bizarrely), Rubin's players were completely absent from the Russian Football Unions's "best league XI" announced at the end of the season. Zenit managed five players despite scraping into a European spot on goal difference and the team above them (Amkar Perm) also saw none of its players recognised....

Finland

To complete an amazing sequence in the "summer leagues" of European football, Finland also, incredibly, had a "first time" league winner in 2008.

Founded as recently as 1990, FC Inter are based in the Finnish city of Turku, the country's fifth largest. Having never achieved a league finish higher than fourth, the small team (ground capacity of 9,000) beat FF Jaro in their final game of the season to take the title by four points.

Inter were pushed to the line by the fantastically names FC Honka who will be joined in the Europa Leage by FC Lahti and HJK Helsinki.

Aleksander Kokko took the "top scorer" golden boot as well as "young player of the year" and "attacker of the year" awards.

It was a bad season for last years top teams - champions Tampere United could only finish eight with their main rivals FC Haka one place below them.

Sweden
Champions: Kalmar FF
Europa League: Elfsborg, IFK Gothenburg, Helsingborg

Norway
Champions: Stabaek
Europa League: Frederikstad, Tromso

Russia
Champions: FC Rubin Kazan
Champions League: CSKA Moscow
Europa League: Dinamo Moscow, Amkar Perm, Zenit St Petersburg

Finland
Champions: FC Inter
Europa League: FC Honka, FC Lahti, HJK

Nemanja Vidic (for Manchester Utd) v Chelsea, 11 January 2009

I'm willing to wager five of your fine English pounds that Kaka wins the "Championship Player Of The Year Award 2009/10"....

Blackburn 2-1 Newcastle
Bolton 0-1 Man Utd
Chelsea 2-0 Stoke
Hull 0-2 Arsenal
Man City 2-1 Wigan
Sunderland 1-1 Aston Villa
West Brom 2-1 Middlesbrough
Tottenham 3-0 Portsmouth
West Ham 1-1 Fulham
Liverpool 1-0 Everton

Wildcards from the Belge, this week:

Club Brugge 2-0 KV Mechelen
Mons 1-0 AA Gent
Charleroi 1-1 Westerlo

Nicklas Bendtner for Arsenal (v Bolton Wanderers), 10 January 2009

If there's one thing in football that is guaranteed to get my hackles up, it is people in the game bemoaning the tactics of opposition teams. It was Arsene Wenger and Robin van Persie's turn this weekend, the latter describing Bolton's tactics at the Emirates as "not realyl football".

Apoplogies to regular readers as I have made this rant before, last time aimed at jug-eared smugster Gary Lineker after he described Spain's victory over Italy at Euro 2008 as "a victory for football".

Football has some general rules and the idea of the game is that you play within them. Nowhere does it say that you have to ping the ball about like it's a practice game and nowhere does it prohibit eight giant lumping centre halves being placed behind the ball at all time.

I'm not saying that I'd pay to watch Bolton's, er, "direct" tactics week in, week out - I'd much rather watch Arsenal (generally speaking). What I object to, though, is this arrogant and patronising argument that "our tactics are better than yours". Arsenal won the game 1-0 so, obviously, their ethos, tactics and personnel won the day.

If teams are overly aggressive, thuggish and brutal then I guess there might be a point. But Bolton (points for Premiership survival a priority over everything else) are entitled to approach a tricky away fixture in whatever way they see fit, and if that involves them putting eleven men behind the ball for ninety minutes then the best of luck to them. It might not be pretty, but it is valid.

Cristiano Ronaldo for Manchester United (v Stoke City), 15 November 2008

Predictions are here.

Insert "Ronaldo" and "not taking corners" gag here..........

Whoops!

Kris Commons for Derby County (v Manchester Utd), 7 January 2009

After our well-deserved winter break it's time to get back into the swing of the Predictions League as we wind our way towards the end of the season...

Arsenal 2-0 Bolton
Aston Villa 3-1 West Brom
Everton 2-0 Hull
Fulham 2-1 Blackburn
Middlesbrough 1-1 Sunderland
Newcastle 1-0 West Ham
Portsmouth 1-1 Man City
Stoke 0-0 Liverpool
Manchester Utd 2-0 Chelsea
Wigan 2-2 Tottenham

Wildcards this week are based on Sunday's big game: (3 points for correct answers)

First booking in Man Utd v Chelsea: Ronaldo
First goalscorer in Man Utd v Chelsea: Wayne Rooney

Steven Gerrard for Liverpool (v Newcastle Utd), 28 December 2008

So, then, we're half way through the season and for everyone other than the top Four (and Arsenal, ha ha) it's basically turned into a relegation dogfight. Everton in 6th are safe-ish (you'd think) but from there downwards the next five months are fundamentally a scrap to stay in the division.

Six of the teams have changed their manager (some voluntarily, some with no option) and it remains to see whether the likes of Big Sam or (and how bizarre was this?) Joe Kinnear can save them.

At the start of the campaign, ST predicted the three promoted teams would go down. I thought Boro, Stoke and Bolton. Right now either of us could be correct, or we could both be completely wrong. My gut feeling is that Big Sam will save Rovers, new management at Spurs and Sunderland will propel them to mid-table and Hull's amazing start will be enough.

I fear for the teams about to lose important players. Tony Adams' Portsmouth seem to be in freefall and the imminent departure of Jermain Defoe can't help. Boro seem set to lose Stewart Downing (and possibly others) which will make a threadbare squad look even less competitive. My biggest fear though is for Newcastle who look weak as it is and the possible departure of Shay Given (notwithstanding the capable back-up of Steve Harper) and an injury to Michael Owen could see them really struggle. I'm not sure Barry Ferguson is the solution either, after his previous ignominious flirtation with the Premier League a few years back.

So, it should be an interesting few months. Three to go down? Newcastle, Portsmouth and West Brom. No. Stoke, Boro and Bolton. No. West Brom, Bolton and Boro. Oh, I don't know. Toss a coin, maybe.

Nathan Ellington for Derby (vs Charlton), 15th December 2008

Predictions time again.

Blackburn 1-1 Stoke (bub-bye to the guvnor)
Bolton 2-1 Portsmouth
Fulham 1-0 Middlesbrough
Hull 2-1 Sunderland
West Ham 2-2 Aston Villa
Arsenal 2-1 Liverpool
Newcastle 1-1 Tottenham
West Brom 0-2 Man City
Everton 0-2 Chelsea

wildcards from the championship

Birmingham 1-1 Reading
Derby 2-0 Watford
Doncaster 0-2 Wolverhampton
Southampton 1-0 Nottingham Forest

Nemanja Vidic for Manchester United (v Sunderland), 6 December 2008

Hey. I have updated the league table and *everything*. Heh heh heh.

The Champions League group stage is a waste of time. Time for straight knockout again, methinks (snowballs chance in hell, of course). Anyway.

Aston Villa 2-0 Bolton
Liverpool 2-0 Hull
Man City 2-1 Everton
Middlesbrough 1-2 Arsenal
Stoke 1-1 Fulham
Sunderland 2-1 West Brom
Tottenham 0-1 Man Utd
Wigan 2-1 Blackburn
Chelsea 2-0 West Ham
Portsmouth 2-1 Newcastle

and it's that brilliant well-conceived FIFA World Club Championship thing again... (three teams from Asia, one from Europe and one from South America. Hmmmm.)

Adelaide United 0-2 Gamba Osaka (an interesting repeat of the Asian Champions League final, this)
Al Ahly Cairo 2-1 Pachuca Club de Futbol

Cassio for Adelaide United (v Wellington Phoenix), 5 December 2008

The Australian A-League was only created as recently as the 2005/6 season and so remains in its relative infancy. Set up along extremely American "franchise" guidelines, an initial eight team league was created around the main population centres of the country (plus a team from New Zealand).

Now in its fourth season, the A-League appears to have been a qualified success. Expansion for next season has already been confirmed (with the elaborately named North Queensland Fury (based in Townsville) and Gold Coast United set to join in 2009. 2010 is likely to see the addition of more teams including one from Canberra, a second Melbourne and/or a West Sydney side.

Whilst the profile of football in the country has been raised in recent years (the Socceroos qualification for the 2006 World Cup and the successes of some Aussie players in major European leagues have certainly helped) the quality remains questionable. Whilst it has certainly improved - Adelaide Utd reached the final of this season's Asian Champions League - what I have seen of the competition is broadly akin to the lower leagues of the UK. Queensland Roar's captain (for example) is ex Rangers and Crystal Palace clogger Craig Moore and their vice-captain is ex Manchester City lunatic Danny Tiatto. I note Kevin Muscat and John Aloisi amongst a list of more prominent players.....

Displacing the main national sports of the country was always a tall order - rugby league, cricket and AFL remain more popular - attendances remain reasonable. Just under 9,000 saw the Central Coast Mariners 1-1 draw with the Roar last weekend, whilst 6,621 were at Perth's Members Equity Stadium to see ex-Tranmere striker Eugene Dadi's brace help see off Melbourne Victory.

The attraction of the A-League as a retirement destination for has-been stars seemed initially to grab some publicity - Dwight Yorke was Sydney FC's initial "marquee" signing - but I think the rise of the American Major League might have put paid to this also. Several prominent Australian stars have expressed an interest in returning to their homeland to end their career and therein is the league in a nutshell - a collection of aged, over-the-hill ex-stars and an abundance of players that wouldn't cut it in League Two. Most Australian football fans passionately follow a European team - based on their ancestry, relatives or other reasons - and might look out for their "local" (ha, ha) teams A-League results also.

Still, the league continues to grow in size and the addition of further teams in areas of population concentration will only help attendances, I guess. That two of the current Australian international squad ply their trade in their home league, however (and both for the Newcastle Jets - the reigning Grand Final champions) tells you most of what you need to know.....

Carlos Tevez for Manchester United (v Blackburn Rovers), 3 December 2008

g'day all. I am going to write about the A-League, in due course. Ooh. I bet you can't wait.

Arriving in Brisbane at midnight on Tuesday, I slipped into a borderline coma before jetlag awoke me at 6am the following morning. I made a cup of tea and flicked the telly on to watch the local programing, and was faced with the spectre of Arsenal v Wigan in the Carling Cup. Live. At 6 in the morning.

Time differences are *weird*.

Arsenal 2-0 Wigan
Blackburn 0-1 Liverpool
Bolton 0-2 Chelsea
Fulham 2-1 Man City
Hull 2-0 Middlesbrough
Man Utd 3-0 Sunderland
Newcastle 1-0 Stoke
Everton 1-1 Aston Villa
West Brom 2-1 Portsmouth
West Ham 1-1 Tottenham Hotspur

and some wildcards from the Hyundai A-League:

Central Coast Mariners 1-1 Queensland Roar
Perth Glory 1-2 Melbourne Victory
Newcastle Jets 0-1 Sydney FC

James Ogoo for Curzon Ashton (vs Exeter), 8 November 2008

Predictions time again..... I'm sure I'll think of something else to put up here at some point. Maybe. I would write about Wolves, but I'm not sure I want to jinx them......

Aston Villa 2-0 Fulham
Middlesbrough 1-1 Newcastle
Stoke 1-0 Hull
Sunderland 1-0 Bolton
Wigan 2-1 West Brom
Chelsea 2-1 Arsenal
Man City 1-2 Man Utd
Portsmouth 1-0 Blackburn
Tottenham 1-0 Everton

Wildcards from the 2nd round of the FA Cup

Bournemouth 2-0 Blyth Spartans
Fleetwood Town 0-2 Hartlepool
Kidderminster 2-0 Curzon Ashton
Scunthorpe 3-1 Alfreton Town

Diego Maradona for Argentina (vs England), 22 June 1986

Predictions time again then....

Not only have I actually remembered to put the predictions up, but I have also managed to put them up on a Wednesday too. How's that for organisation?

Average at best? I'll settle for that.

Aston Villa 0-1 Man Utd
Chelsea 2-0 Newcastle
Liverpool 2-0 Fulham
Man City 1-2 Arsenal
Middlesbrough 1-0 Bolton
Portsmouth 1-1 Hull
Stoke 2-1 West Brom
Sunderland 1-0 West Ham
Tottenham 2-0 Blackburn

Wildcards from Serie A this week, I think.

Inter 1-0 Juventus
Lecce 0-1 Roma
Torino 0-1 Milan

catenaccio and "thrilling" one-nil wins all round!

(which Maradona goal? I leave that up to you....)

Ade Akinbiyi for Burnley (vs Chelsea), 12 November 2008

Better had do some predictions then, eh?

Arsenal 2-0 Aston Villa
Blackburn 1-1 Sunderland
Bolton 0-1 Liverpool
Fulham 0-1 Tottenham
Man Utd 2-0 Stoke
Newcastle 1-1 Wigan
West Brom 0-3 Chelsea
West Ham 1-0 Portsmouth
Everton 2-1 Middlesbrough
Hull 1-0 Man City

wildcards from Spain

Getafe 1-1 Sevilla
Atlético 2-1 Deportivo
Betis 1-0 Racing

Someone remind me to do it early next week, eh? I'm off to NY on Thursday afternoon.... hard life and all that.

Roman Pavlyuchenko for Tottenham Hotspur (v Liverpool), 1 November 2008

Hello all. Sorry it's a bit late - I was in Oceana at 1am with the boss last night and a heady cocktail of nasty overpriced drinks....

Arsenal 1-2 Man Utd
Hull 2-1 Bolton
Liverpool 2-0 West Brom
Sunderland 1-0 Portsmouth
West Ham 1-1 Everton
Wigan 2-0 Stoke
Aston Villa 3-1 Middlesbrough
Blackburn 0-2 Chelsea
Fulham 2-1 Newcastle
Man City 1-1 Tottenham

and some wildcards from the first round of the FA Cup:

Blyth Spartans 1-2 Shrewsbury
Sutton United 1-1 Notts County
Havant and Waterlooville 0-2 Brentford

I'm off to Australia for three weeks (I do get to see the Rugby League World Cup semi final - hopefully it'll be England v New Zealand barring freak results) and so I will leave you in ST's capable hands until I get back. Innit.

David Bentley for Tottenham Hotspur (v Arsenal), 29 October 2008

Anyone want to come to Notts County with me tomorrow? You'd have to sit in the away end as they are playing my beloved Bury in a game of vital mid table mediocrity. Anyone? No?

Chelsea 3-0 Sunderland
Everton 2-1 Fulham
Man Utd 3-0 Hull
Middlesbrough 1-0 West Ham
Portsmouth 2-1 Wigan
Stoke 1-2 Arsenal
Tottenham 1-1 Liverpool
West Brom 1-1 Blackburn
Bolton 0-1 Manchester City
Newcastle Utd 1-2 Aston Villa

and some Derby wildcards, including of course the big Derby derby this weekend...)

Derby County 1-1 Nottingham Forest
Southend 2-1 Colchester
Chelsea Ladies 3-0 Fulham Ladies

Rory Delap for Stoke City (v Tottenham Hotspur), 19 October 2008

There's not much going on, football-wise, is there? A takeover of Charlton Athletic has fallen through? *yawns*

Anyway, I have updated the predictions table. Stewards enquiry for ST's score, I think....

Blackburn 2-1 Middlesbrough
Everton 1-2 Man Utd
Sunderland 1-1 Newcastle
West Brom 2-0 Hull
Chelsea 1-0 Liverpool
Man City 2-0 Stoke
Portsmouth 2-1 Fulham
Tottenham 2-0 Bolton
West Ham 1-2 Arsenal
Wigan 1-1 Aston Villa

and some wildcards from the Homecoming Scottish Cup (whatever the f*** that is!)

Brora 1-3 Forfar
Clachnacuddin 1-1 Crichton
Forres Mechanics 2-1 Keith (I always think he does a really good job, Keith. Someone should sign him, I reckon. And Barry Town, as well.)

Wayne Rooney for England (v Belarus), 15 October 2008

Hello - I promise I will update the table in due course. Credit crunch, innit.

Arsenal 2-0 Everton
Aston Villa 2-1 Portsmouth
Bolton 1-1 Blackburn
Fulham 2-1 Sunderland
Liverpool 2-0 Wigan
Man Utd 1-0 West Brom
Middlesbrough 1-2 Chelsea
Hull 1-1 West Ham United
Stoke 0-1 Tottenham
Newcastle Utd 1-2 Manchester City

and some wildcards from the Irn-Bru League

Dunfermline 2-1 Partick Thistle
Raith Rovers 1-1 Ayr United
East Stirling 1-1 Berwick Rangers

Wayne Rooney for England (v Kazakhstan), 11 October 2008

A propos nothing in particular, I received this comment on an old CUAS post the other week. It's so beautifully random and non-football, I couldn't help but share it.

Thanks for my rolex.x ps you were terrible in bed and have a white sized willy.

Sigh. I can't believe the ingratitude of today's women. They'll take your Rolex and then criticize the size of your member, on tinternet where all can see.

What's a "white sized willy" anyway.....?

Gerald Sibon for Heerenveen (v Ajax), 5 October 2008

I was going to wrote about Joe Kinnear's hilarious rant but then he galvanised a dishevelled Newcastle into coming back from 2-0 down to steal a draw with (thus far incredibly disappointing) Everton.  I also heard a grest story that when he was appointed as Nottingham Forest manager, he was late for the press conference as he "couldn't find the City Ground" (despite having been there on countless occasions as an away manager).  In the end, the club had to turn the floodlights on in order that he could find the place....

International Weekend again.  Anyone care?  No?  Thought not.

Bulgaria 1-1 Italy

England 3-0 Kazakhstan (My name-a Borat. Is nice!)

Estonia 0-1 Spain

Germany 1-1 Russia

Holland 2-0 Iceland (or the New Russian State of Iceland, should you prefer)

Poland 2-1 Czech Republic

Romania 1-1 France

Scotland 0-0 Norway

Sweden 2-1 Portugal

Ukraine 2-1 Croatia

and wildcards featuring clubs off of "not their original name, like"

MK Dons 1-2 Carlisle

Macclesfield Town 1-2 Aldershot

Kidderminster 2-0 Ebbsfleet United

[Not sure what's happened to the formatting here. Blame Blogger!]

Richard Butcher for Notts County (v Aldershot), 27 September 2008

As we drove past a misty Meadow Lane at 10.45am on Saturday morning, the small child person looked at it and suggested that we might perhaps go to a football match later that day.

A quick check of the fixture list later, we spent the afternoon in the Family Stand at Notts County v Aldershot. We had quite a good time - County won 2-1, we had some crisps and a hot chocolate, got a sticker to promote a new Football League drive and sat in the sunshine paying tribute to Jimmy Sirrel and watching County fluke a narrow win.


And you can't beat a huge hug from a Magpie, can you? (unless it's Mark Viduka of course. Ha ha ha.)


Anyway. Predictions:

Blackburn 1-2 Man Utd
Sunderland 0-2 Arsenal
West Brom 1-1 Fulham
Wigan 2-1 Middlesbrough
Chelsea 2-1 Aston Villa
Everton 2-0 Newcastle
Man City 0-1 Liverpool
Portsmouth 2-0 Stoke
Tottenham 2-0 Hull
West Ham 2-1 Bolton

and some Rangers wildcards:

Birmingham 2-0 QPR
Stafford Rangers 2-1 Harrogate Town
St Mirren 1-3 Rangers

Roque Santa Cruz for Blackburn Rovers (v Newcastle United), 27 September 2008

It Could Only Happen At Newcastle Utd: Part 854,219

They hire a temporary manager to look after the team until the end of October - someone serving a touchline ban from their last football mangement job and who therefore cannot actually sit on the bench until 20 October.

Genius.

Jo for Manchester City (vs Portsmouth), 21 September 2008

Predictions time again, already......

Arsenal 2-0 Hull
Aston Villa 2-1 Sunderland
Everton 1-1 Liverpool
Fulham 1-1 West Ham
Man Utd 2-0 Bolton
Middlesbrough 1-0 West Brom
Newcastle 0-1 Blackburn
Stoke 0-2 Chelsea
Portsmouth 2-1 Tottenham
Wigan 1-1 Man City

And wildcards from the FA Cup Qualifying, 2nd Round:

Belper Town 1-0 Redditch
Hinckley Utd 0-2 Solihull Moors
Kingstonian 2-1 Braintree Town
Winterton Rangers 1-1 Newcastle Benfield (are they better run, do you suppose?)

Ji-Sung Park for Manchester United (v Chelsea), 21 September 2008

You might have seen this already, but it makes me giggle every time I watch it. I think it's taken a couple of years off Sir Alex's life.....



Brilliant.

Marlon King for Hull City (v Newcastle United), 13 September 2008

[Scroll down for predictions - they are in this post!]

At the risk of upsetting the few lovely and loyal Newcastle supporters that frequent this site, I did find myself nodding at this article written by Matthew Syed in this weeks Times.

"The only way that Newcastle fans are ever going to be truly happy is when they have formed a collective to buy the club and have made a pig's ear, as they inevitably would, of a kind that would make Freddy Shepherd's last remaining strands stand on end. When they have rehired Keegan to manage the team, Shearer to be his assistant and the ghost of Jackie Milburn to do the scouting. When they have got control of the club and discovered that their own volatility makes it practically ungovernable."

Also, whilst I strongly believe that the outcome of foul play in football should not in itself influence the punishment (Martin Taylor and Danny Guthrie should not simply be banned for longer just becuase the recipients of their red card tackle were seriously injured), I do think the FA needs to look at some sort of sliding scale for penalties. A straight red for a clumsy professional foul having the same ban as for Guthrie's terrible tackle (borne of frustration, not malice, I suspect) seems unbalanced. By all means ban players for cheating, but on-field thuggery and violence is different, and should be treated differently.

Anyway. Predictions time (I hate the UEFA Cup. It means there are hardly any games on Saturday's Match Of The Day....)

Blackburn 1-1 Fulham
Bolton 0-2 Arsenal
Liverpool 3-0 Stoke
Sunderland 2-1 Middlesbrough
West Ham 2-0 Newcastle
Chelsea 2-1 Man Utd
Hull 0-2 Everton
Man City 2-1 Portsmouth
Tottenham 2-0 Wigan
West Brom 1-1 Aston Villa

and let's make our first trip of the season to the Eredivisie, shall we?

AZ 1-3 PSV
Feyenoord 1-1 Ajax
Heerenveen 2-1 NEC

Chris Brunt for West Bromwich Albion (v West Ham United), 13 September 2008

Watching the West Brom v West Ham game at the weekend, I wondered when the last time was that two top flight clubs played each other with neither of them sporting a shirt sponsor. Other than a freak scenario like this one, it must have been the Seventies, mustn't it?